You remember how Jennifer Aniston was married to Brad Pitt and then that movie about the husband and wife team of assassins brought Brad Pitt closer to she who will not be named? The legend goes that Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston split soon thereafter, leaving Mr. Smith free to date whomever instructed him to date her. And the rest of the proceedings followed the prophesy. So, he did. And many adoptions and old-fashioned ways of acquiring babies later, they have a massive, intercontinental family. Huzzah!
But Jennifer Aniston's much-chronicled romantic life has not gone as well. And the success by the other guys has been grating and irksome (as far as the press is concerned) and gratingly irksome. So, she started dating some people. Friends and friends of friends would hook her up with various handsome devils, movers, shakers and French bread makers. But none of it stuck. Then this young singer-songwriter named John Mayer came into her life and it was good.
More from YourTango: Kelly Rowland's Engaged! 5 Facts About Her Fiancé Tim Witherspoon
But, as with VH1's Behind The Music, things were not so easy. Something was moving too fast or too slow for one or the other's liking and it disintegrated. And, per the New York Post's Page Six, she was left alone to Brad Pitt's not-quite wife alone on the red carpet. The P6 story goes that she vowed never to let that happen again. So, operation Find Arm Candy / Husband was on like Pong.
But where is a super-famous star to find a man on short notice? She couldn't just go around promoting her Owen Wilson-fueled, canine-related romcom without a smidgeon of romantic angle for herself, could she? And would anyone ride stag on the red carpet? Conventional wisdom says nyet. But she's a pro, she would have thought of some way to compare (or contrast!) her life to her character's. But P6 says it wasn't enough and that her agent's friend started calling around for a dude. Thank heavens it didn’t come to per having to hire Dermott Mulroney and become Debra Messing from The Wedding Date. It would have been can't look / can't look away odd. Instead, she reconnected with John Mayer with timing that we plan on chalking up to coincidence.
So, come on you people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together and learn to love one another right now.
More from YourTango: Monaco's Royal Baby: Charlotte Casiraghi Gives Birth!
Anyone out there going to "Stir It Up" over the holiday season and catch Marley And Me? We saw Drillbit Taylor, so our tolerance for pain for Owen Wilson's sake is prett-y high.