If your newest squeeze is of Ivy League caliber, make sure you're religious with the condoms. Seriously. There's a chance his sperm count is as overachieving as his vocabulary. 

According to a UK study of 425 men, those who scored highest on intelligence tests also boasted the "best" sperm. What makes sperm better or worse? Great question, glad you asked. The answer: "numbers, concentration, and ability to move" researchers say.

In light of this study, scientists are coming closer to concluding that high intelligence may genetically edge one out overall. Perhaps, they theorize, traditionally bright people are all around healthier and more robust than those of just average intellect. They call this an innate "fitness factor." If low intelligence is a mutation, they wonder, maybe it tarnishes other biological factors too.

In the past, scientists thought smarter people were more likely to engage in a healthy lifestyle (abstaining from alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, exercising, and the like) and these factors skewed intelligence tests even more to their favor. However, lifestyle choices didn't seem to make a difference in this study.

Regardless, the results weren't of "Holy Cow Stop The Presses" proportions.

"This does not mean that men who prefer Play-Do to Plato always have poor sperm: the relationship we found was marginal," lead researcher Dr. Rosalind Arden said. 

(ed note: leave Play-Do out of this!) 

Marginal or not, who knew being able to correctly finish a series of geometric shapes also increases the quantity and aggressiveness of your sperm! And if this is the case, why are there so many seemingly stupid people out there? Are the bright ones less likely to get laid? More likely to wear condoms?

Sigh. One of life's many cruel jokes.