Is Dirtbag The New Black?
The difference between being masculine and being a jerk.
"Finding the a*****e within" is "in" right now for men, says Details magazine, and it's all because relationships are making men less manly. As relationships become more egalitarian and the world more P.C., author Simon Dumenco writes, some men feel more pressured to seek sex on the sly to prove to themselves testosterone still courses through their muscles as they empty the Diaper Genie. By all means, boys: enjoy those happy-ending massages and seek refuge marathan rounds of Halo. Adulthood is hard, y'all! Harrumph. We beg to disagree: "a*****e" doesn't mean the same thing as "masculine." We think we know which show to blame for this confusion: Mad Men, which is about Madison Avenue advertising men in 1960's America. Lead character Don Draper rampantly cheats on his lovely wife, lies to everyone about his true identity, and drinks hard liquor in the middle of the afternoon. He's a manly man the way men used to be...before all that political correctness stuff appeared. Sure, Don Draper looks good in a suit, he's witty and charming, and he can put a snot-nosed underling in his place quicker than he can put out a cigarette. But show us a 2008 lady who wants to date a booze-swilling liar and cheater like him. We lovelovelove Mad Men because it is fiction; we don't think it can prop up a dubiously reported trend piece which makes excuses for infidelity. We agree that it's a perfect television program about manhood in crisis. But it is not meant, in any way, to be prescriptive for modern relationships, a la Details. Good golly, these days, even Brad Pitt is talking about baby poop on Oprah! So be careful, boys. Those of you in a protracted adolescence may find yourself divorced!
Discussion
No the world has changed but our society has not. We expect or force commitment when that is not in the best interest of either party. People seek out other lovers for a variety of reasons. The assumption that the partner or spouse is unaware is not always true. It is the internal rules that each "couple" decides on. Many do not want a divorce but do not want sex so having a lover is the ideal solution. The problem is the societal pressure on the lovers to become a "couple" that many times sabotage occurs. One person's lover maybe a spouse who likes it that way.
Beauty is as beauty does. The fact that the person may be drop dead gorgeous does not equate to happiness. There can be many reason why needs are not met. Most of us have heard of "wood shed" side door lovers ;a person who satisfies sexually but is socially a liability. Think of a person who is mismatched a social ally ,a great companion,a lump of lead in the bedroom(or any combination thereof). Get the picture?
Or a "Hot Wife" and ignored husband.
The people in some areas and some professions are too involved in their work to be a companion and that is going be the norm.
From the Des Moines Register: http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20081126/NEWS/81126006
there you are. Worse because of our "openness" this is the result.
It is time to acknowledge a sea change in our emotional and sexual relationships. As far as mad men goes there are many women who would love to have a lover like Dan.
