I'm Not Obsessed mentioned today that the Gossip Girl set has spawned another non-canonical romance. Evidently, TV's favorite sensitive-on-the-inside teen villain, Chuck Bass, is dating Vanessa (not important enough for us to remember her last name) from Brooklyn.
Better said, Ed Westwick is fooling around with young, wild actress Jessica Szohr (uh, how do you even start pronouncing that name?). The pair was seen canoodling (which we assume is a portmanteau of caring and the ancient hippie dancing technique of noodling) in some Texas airport. But what does this mean for us fans (not that we watch that show)?
Are we supposed to expect a hook-up between the Bass-tard and Vanessa from Brooklyn? We assumed that they would sort of fall for each other at some point or another because the show is rapidly running out of combos of characters to pair off (or so we've heard). They need to figure out a way to sneak some OC characters into the show, Julie Cooper could take Rufus' mind off that Lily van der Woodsen and his sad-sack kids for a quick sec. And they almost did but the vilest little Princess (Blair Waldorff) narced Chaz out before he could show the girl from the other side of the tracks the "reel" Bass-master (what's what the kids in our neighborhood are saying, at least).
But maybe something about the rakish scarfsman jarred something loose in the girl from the other side of the East River. And Jessica Szohr decided that if Vanessa NoSurname was stuck with Nathaniel Archibald, that the real Squirrelly Sue could make a move on with the surprisingly British Ed Westwick and become the filling of an Upper East Side sandwich.
Or it could be that there are a bunch of young people on the somewhat fantastical Gossip Girl set and everyone is pretty much doing everyone (and using the drugs, if some of those Page Six blind items are accurate). This will probably put an end to the rumors that Ed Westwick is dating Drew Barrymore but probably not the libel that he's shtupping pretty boy costar Chace Crawford.
And because you might not watch GG (like us!), check out Gawker's rundown of the most recent episode. Uh, this is the best thing that Gawker has ever produced. We almost had a collective stroke/ orgasm as we read it. Who do you think makes a better couple, Dan and Serena (Penn Badgley and Blake Lively, her name is an adverb) or Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr? At least Ed is taller than Jessica.