Is He The One?

By

Is He The One?
Rachel Kramer Bussel wonders if her boyfriend is "The One."

Right now, I'm in the most serious relationship I've ever been in; as in, even though I live in New York and he lives in San Francisco, we've talked about where and when we could live together—and how soon. He's met my uncle; I've gone to his family's cabin, and I'm joining them for Thanksgiving. His mom sends me emails, and my grandmother sends me clippings urging him to stop smoking. We talk almost every night and end most calls with "I love you."

There are days when I think we are meant to spend the rest of our lives together, and days when I really have no clue. We started dating when we were both in New York last fall. When he moved back to San Francisco (he was here for school), I didn't expect anything to come of our little fling, but my feelings kept bringing me back to him. Although I'd sworn I wouldn't get myself into another long distance relationship (I've been in more of those than same city ones), I couldn't help myself.

 

The distance is one big issue, but even more important is trying to figure out how to handle our disagreements, our differences. Is he The One for me, and is that idea even something worth believing in? The problem with The One (or "The One," as many of the people I informally polled seemed to think of it) is that nobody else can tell you whether your guy or girl is It. They may tell you how they see the relationship—and, frankly, many of my friends are quite wary of this one—but they're not in it, so they don't really know. Part of the problem is I've never really dated anyone long enough, or seriously enough, to work through these issues; our differences always broke us up before we got there.

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