Yeah, yeah. Nobody (and we mean nobody) wants to think about their grandparents (or other people's grandparents) doing it. Ew. But if some Kansas-based researchers have their way, sex education will become a part of a nursing home's regimen.
Based off sexuality studies from three different nursing homes in Kansas, Majka Jankowiak and Laci Cornelison, research assistants at Kansas State University's Center on Aging, are suggesting retirement homes change some of their reactionary thinking and the staff toughen up and accept sex may blossom between some of their residents. Afterall, they're old, not dead.
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Gayle Doll, who directs the Center on Aging, said a few key factors need to be taken into consideration. Privacy, for one. The set up of the semi-private rooms and the law restricting locked doors make sex, or even masturbation for that matter, trickier and less likely. At times even conjuring memories of sneaky sex between teenagers.
Another concern (again bringing back waves of memories from high school) deal with the lack of health class type discussions about H.I.V. and sexually transmitted diseases. While pregnancy may not be an issue, researchers worry the elderly didn't have the same kind of education about STD's that younger generations were taught.
While an outbreak of chlamydia at Shady Pines seems unlikely, wherever sex happens free condoms and "symptom" sheets are sure to follow. As are the always uncomfortable talks of sex without consent.
As Doll points out, some of the patients have Alzheimer's and dementia, meaning things may occur that would be considered "inappropriate sexual behavior. "
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Wow. Well, looks like the retirement home staff have their work cut out for them. The bigger question is, when would the crab, grab ass, wear-your- condom talk take place?
We'd suggest right after Bingo, but before dinner at 4:30. Definitely.