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Kanye Is Looking For Love

Kanye West needs a new lady. Gold diggers need not apply, haters to the left.

According to Bossip, Kanye West is ready to settle. Not a lawsuit. And certainly not a beef with Beanie Siegel (or 50 Cent or Jamie Foxx or Soulja Boy). He says he's ready to settle down in life with a wife and less strife.

The producer / rapper / vodka hawker looks like he wants to escape the loneliness brought on by the loss of his mom and breakup with his fiance [sic] Alexis Phifer. Kanye goes on to describe the sort of woman that he wants no part of and for the record, we think he’s still pretty obsessed with this gold digger business.

Maybe milord doth protest too much. It's OK, for every 6 women out there that like drama there is 1 guy that kind of digs that kind of kook. And the numbers improve dramatically for gold diggers. We'd say that the ratio of actual gold diggers to dudes who like high-class hos is probably around 3 to 1. Unfortunately, there are not enough rich, single dudes out there to keep this industry afloat (that's not counting married men with real or fictitious "understandings"). The percentage of men that actually like "trifling-ass" women would be too difficult to reasonably quantify.

So, what kind of broad should Kanye be seeking out? We're pretty sure that he needs someone that appreciates his stuff, is willing to stoke his ego (we're poor losers too and it's nice to have someone else tell you that your genius is under-appreciated), looks good, is successful (but not too successful), hates haters, can handle the domestic stuff and is willing to drop everything for him. It's too bad that Rachael Ray is taken and Tyra Banks is out of her mind. Anyone out there have any thoughts on whom Kanye ought to marry up?

Anyone Sienna Miller suggestions will be deleted.

It could certainly be worse than being Kanye, as this video illustrates:
 

Photo: Splash

Can you relate?

Discussion

LeMaster Married I was born ready.
Posted November 15, 2008

I need me some Be Kanye

Score: 0

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Kataroo Single Glass half full girl.
Posted November 14, 2008

Well, who doesn't take shots at Jared Leto and JT? but really, its like he thinks he'll issue the press release and the women will come.

Score: 0
Tom Single
Posted November 14, 2008

In addition, did you see his claim that he's the voice of his generation? And he took some shots at Jared Leto and JT.

Best of luck finding that black Kate Moss tonight, guy.

Score: 0
Alex Complicated No nonsense about love!
Posted November 14, 2008

Kanye may make decent music but he seems like a terrible person. I almost can't listen to his music anymore because his big fat ego drowns out the noise.

Score: 0
BigAl Taken
Posted November 13, 2008

Calling all George Clooney's exes.

Score: 0
Lolita Single It all feels good.
Posted November 13, 2008

"We're pretty sure that he needs someone that appreciates his stuff, is willing to stoke his ego (we're poor losers too and it's nice to have someone else tell you that your genius is under-appreciated), looks good, is successful (but not too successful), hates haters, can handle the domestic stuff and is willing to drop everything for him."

Too bad Laura Bush is taken. She fits the bill :)

Score: 0
LeMaster Married I was born ready.
Posted November 13, 2008

Hey, don't knock Laura Bush.

Maybe he should date John Mayer too.

Score: 0
ProudMary Starting Over
Posted November 13, 2008

so he wants someone who can drop everything and be with him and stroke his ego? sounds like he needs a grandma not a wife

Score: 0
Kataroo Single Glass half full girl.
Posted November 13, 2008

oh great. does he want a reality show to find love too? ridiculous.

Score: 0

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