As Celebitchy reported earlier today, Joe Jonas appears to be moving on from his record heart-breaking phone dumping of country sweetheart Taylor Swift with actress Camilla Belle. We reported about the speed-dumping last month, when Swift was reportedly heart-broken after teen heartthrob Jonas dumped her in the fastest phone call break-up known to man (the telephonic equivalent of being dumped via Post-It Note, a la Sex and the City), causing the country star to write a song about it (because she a music star and that’s what they do) on her new album. Post-dumpage, Joe evidently met Camilla when she starred in the band’s video “Junebug”, and the two have been dating on the QT ever since.
As someone who doesn’t really get a warm fuzzy for any of the people involved, let’s look at the facts of the issue here: Taylor Swift is 18 years old. She will have many years to have her heart broken and she will most likely break a few hearts along the way in the long dating career ahead of her. Taylor, it’s time for what we call an “upgrade”: make sure the next guy is hotter, more famous and treats you better than Joe. Nothing succeeds like success, girl.
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As for Jonas, he is also like, what, 19? The actress he is dating is 22. Now, I don’t know how many of you are over the age of 25, but think back to what you were like at 19 and what you were like at 22. Go on, I’ll give you a minute. Now, what do/did you have in common with people at 19 as a 22 year old? Not that it’s vastly older, but the world is just a little different after the ‘2’ goes before your double digit age. Then again, they may love to look into each other’s eyes across a chocolate shake after his concerts or go into major tickle fights after hours of Guitar Hero. The kid’s wearing a Purity Ring so whatever it is, it’s innocent (and before you go off on me, I waited until I was older and in a committed love relationship per my own beliefs and wore the bracelet, so save the hate mail - this isn't about sex).
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Look, I may be a little older and a lot wiser but I can imagine getting speed-dumped still hurts like a mother and no one telling you that it’ll be fine in time never helps while it still smarts. I can also remember that as a 22 year old, I tried not to affiliate romantically with guys who were younger than 20 because they were just immature (Exhibit A would be dumping someone over the phone in less than 30 minutes). Just a quick note to Camilla: cougaring only counts when you’re old enough to really enjoy all the aspects of a younger guy and I assure you that at 22, you are not.
Next week, it’ll be a new Jonas with another report and we’ll laugh and discuss it over Guitar Hero. Until then, tween gossip lovers…