The Great V-Card Debate

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The Great V-Card Debate
Why would anyone want to have sex with a virgin? Or pay for it?

And then things swung in the other direction. A young lady from California is in the process of auctioning her primae noctis to the highest bidder at Nevada's world-famous Bunny Ranch. And evidently the viring, Natalie Dylan, is receiving bids from $1 million to $3.5 million for her honor. And an Italian model called Raffela Fico thought it sounded like a good idea and has her first time for sale for $1.5 million. I understand that both of these ladies have the right to refuse the guys, but that's not the point.

The point is, what kind of moron would pay that kind of money to have sex with a virgin? Yeah, she may be tight (in a number of ways) and know how work her ass on the dance floor but that does not translate much in the boudoir, namean? When you pay for sex, you're paying for expertise. You're not paying for someone to just lie there and make you feel guilty about their discomfort. And you'll probably be required to wear a condom; no one knows where you've been, chief.

And even when not paying for it, who really wants to have sex with a virgin (mythical medicinal powers notwithstanding)? Adult men and women should want someone who knows how to work that switch. There might be some satisfaction in being a teacher, but who has time for that? South Park's Chef says the time for losing virginity is 17* with no ifs, ands or maybes about it. And somewhere along the line the idea of doing it after the prom became terribly popular. The right time for getting your first sexy on is clearly a matter of comfort… and opportunity. While dropping your v-card on a pool table in the 11th grade is probably a really bad idea, waiting until the wedding night is not so swift either as sexual compatibility is rumored to be pretty important in viable, healthy, long-term relationships.

Any thoughts? Any hilarious first time stories? Ever bump (uglies) into a stage 5 virgin clinger?

*The global average age of v-card collection is 19.25, per a Durex survey.

{C}

 

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  • Americans have sex an average of 113 times a year; the global average is 103.