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The Great V-Card Debate

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The Great V-Card Debate
Why would anyone want to have sex with a virgin? Or pay for it?

There has been a glut of virginity talk lately, on top of the howaboutthat stories regarding men and women having their v-card intact until an advanced age. Like the 36-year-old virgin blogger. Or the Albanian women who chose chastity and maidenhood so they could be the men of their houses. These stories are nowhere near as hilarious as something featuring Steve Carell. They're sad and touching and don't feature the underrated Catherine Keener in any capacity. There was even a brief Jane Austen craze in 2007. And the dubious achievement of hymen repair (or replacement).

Then Russel Brand made fun of all those tween celebs who gave their word to stop at 3rd. Plus Jonah Hill and Michael Cera pulled out all the stops to drop their cherries in last summer's breakaway hit, Superbad. There's even an off-Broadway play called My First Time that admits virgins for free. It's been overwhelming, frankly.

None of this is new, right? Before Superbad and Jane Austen, we had American Pie and Elizabeth I. For thousands of years taboo and fetish around virginity have cemented themselves in our psyches.

While male virginity is a beautiful and majestic thing (ask AC Green), it's pretty inconsequential. Sure, he may walk a little taller the next day and have a greater familiarity with certain sounds, but he's basically the same guy. (Quick aside: I was enjoying a cool pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea with some friends before ascending to manhood and wound up with every single cherry in that ewer. My compadres had a good hearty laugh at my expense. In hindsight, we were all dorks for drinking Long Island Iced Tea.)

A lady's deflowering is, evidently, a little different. Sheet soiling, mucus membranes and potential pregnancy aside, something magical must happen on that first time. Why else would we (not as a culture, but as a species) make such a big deal of it?

Obviously, a chaste lady is more likely to be disease-free and, um, narrower. Maybe some dudes feel some cuckoldry is afoot if they're going where another man has gone before. And someone schooled in feminist theory might say there's a desire amongst a large cross-section of men to infantilize their conquests. And some Eastern men have been led to believe that sex with a virgin can actually cure their own STDs (generally the AIDS).

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