Guitar Hero/Vagina Champion

Guitar Hero/Vagina Champion
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Craigslist personals: always good for a laugh. A round-up and translation of three favorites.

Last night Love Buzz was perusing Craigslist personals (and reading about new laws regarding CL prostitution). Not seeing anyone ISO a blogger obsessed with relationships and the internet we turned our attention to other interesting posts. Below are a few favorites, and, as YourTango has perfected the art of translating online dating profiles, our interpretations.

Post: Guitar Hero/Vagina Champion (warning: actual post contains a potentially NSFW image, although no nudity)

-Front man in progressive nu metal band Byarg Sarlock and the Sarlocks
-Broad shouldered, wide ankled, tight anused, supple breasted, man god
-Likes to settle misunderstandings with the power of pure logic/large handgun collection
-Cried during Metallica’s Some Kind of Monster. Jacked off during Monsters INC.
-Peter Piper Picked a Pack of Papapipp….f*ck!
-Hard working blue collar American brimming with patriotism/hemorrhoids
-Coined the phrase, "You’ve got mail....genitalia."
-Started nonprofit organization "Tears for Fears"
-Briefly served in military, was discharged for discharging in men
-Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey > Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure > Diet & Exercise
-Gentle meat hooks looking to stroke tender meat curtains
-Has tongue like a race horse, er no, ass like a camel, regrets some things
-Can get enough of your love babe
-Writes Haikus sometimes, Not enough fiber inside, Bowels never move
-Can speak Italian, dream in French, fuck under covers with lights off
-Tri-athlete/Muckraker
-Puts the "ape" in statutory rape

Translation: I'm a bisexual music geek who is stuck in the 80s but born in the 70s, a little lonely, a lot clever, hoping someone will recognize my brilliance, accept my occasional asshole-ishness and love me for my mind while providing some lovin' for my body.

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Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
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