A-Rod Venerates The Madonna On The DL

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A-Rod Venerates The Madonna On The DL
Seinfeld sneaks A-Rod and Madonna into the Hamptons via helicopter.

Damned celebrity spies, curse their eyes. According the New York Post's Page Six by way of Defamer, Alex Rodriguez and Madonna met up in the Hamptons a few weeks ago via helicopter, Porsche, and Seinfeld. The Yankees third baseman and recent divorcee landed at a heliport in the East End (that's where the Jay Gatsby lived) and was whisked (because that's what you do with Porsches) in a car supposedly belonging to Jessica Seinfeld. Later that same evening a ride (a Porsche, naturally) driven by Jerry Seinfeld scooped up a woman fitting Madonna's description from the same heliport.

Who would live near Jerry Seinfeld and want to blow the lid off his plans? It has to be someone with reason an axe to grind against the comedian. Someone meticulous, with plenty of time on his pudgy hands. Someone like a UPS guy or something. Someone who hates pretty boy baseball players. Someone with a sinister laugh. Who could that be?

While a bunch of gossip sites have done their little take on the Seinfeld-Madonna-A-Rod get-together, we really appreciated Defamer's headline, "What's The Deeeal With Seinfeld And The Secret Madonna/A-Rod Rendezvous." And we'd like to add, "Who Are The Ad Wizards That Came Up With These Helicopters, Hey What Do You Call Someone That Fails Out Of Fighter Pilot School: Helicopter Pilot," and "Did You Ever Notice That People With 3 Names Are Crazy And People With 1 Name Are Famous? What's The Deal With That, Pimple Popper?" Good times.

We also like Defamer's rundown of the teams in Madonna's divorce from Guy Ritchie. They're on it like it's Tuesday. Though we were, in fact, on this last Tuesday.* Check it.

Any thoughts on how weird it is that A-Rod and Madonna really are getting together? We have to admit, we totally didn't buy into this when it surfaced months back. But it looks like A-Rod is completely bewitched by Madonna. It's possible that they pulled a page out of Eminem's book in 2 senses (lyrics: "I am whatever you say I am, if I wasn't why would I say I am?" Autobiography: ) and decided to give the public what we seem to be clamoring for (John Mayer knows that trick too). Either way, we're going to have a hard time taking the Yankees seriously any more, especially if Derek Jeter is dating Lila Garrity, that's Timmy Riggins' girl, sonny Jim.

*It was a pretty easy connection to make, but let's get some love for the YourTango, Defamer.

Photos: Splash