Peter Andre and Katie Price (sometimes called Jordan) are coming to America.
Listen, if you don't know who Peter Andre and Katie Price (sometimes called Jordan) are, it's OK. If you're not British, an Anglophile, or a hardcore gossip nerd, you probably should have no idea who they are. They've never done anything that you could possibly be interested in, sorry, that's science. We'd say that they're like Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson but without the blockbuster sex tapes and fame due to the awesomeness of Motley Crüe and international appeal of Women In Red Bathing Suits AKA Baywatch.
Anywho, these 2 are trying to increase their Q-rating by reaching across the Atlantic (the US has about 5 times the people as the UK and the same appetite for smutty gossip) and feel like LA is the place to be. According to, the Daily Mail, old Peter Andre is in the US (Los Angeles) doing his thing while Katie Price (sometimes called Jordan) is back in London partying it up in London without her wedding ring. Yes, shocking.
Word on the street is that these 2 get in rows (we call them fights) pretty frequently and that she’s been known to disappear for a few days at a time. Then they make up. Is all of this an act? Are their spats and general antics to keep people watching their reality show and keep them in the news?
Or is there real trouble in the chav-dom? According to Digital Spy, Peter Andre is planning a US road trip in something called a 'bachelor motor,' which is later explained to be a big, American convertible. Evidently, there is some appeal to driving up and down the Pacific Coast Highway. Which sounds glamorous until you're in bumper-to-bumper traffic from LA and Sacramento and the radio is playing nothing but Taylor Swift and Katy Perry. At that point, being home, feet up on an ottoman, with the kids sounds pretty good even if your wife is out doing weird sh*t to keep the tabloids interested.
Do they really expect to make it big in the US? We gave Posh and Becks a chance and that hasn't exactly panned out yet. Maybe we're more of a drama country than a soccer one. But America loved the Spice Girls and does not have a history of letting reality stars escape the genre. The exception being American Idol contestants, which Katie is reportedly going to guest on. We don't ask you to be experts on Katie Price (sometimes called Jordan) and Peter Andre. We just want you to know that they are coming and to be prepared for a massive sh*t show. Will America go for this dog and pony show? Or is the collective bullsh*t detector going to claxon these 2 back to Merry Olde?
Quick joke: What's the last thing you want to call a couple of weird, British reality TV stars? Welcome. Thank you, I'll be here all week. The 9 o'clock show is completely different from the 7 o'clock.