Monogamy Advice From Gay Men?


A psychologist shares the relationship wisdom he's learned from gay men.

6. Have no-strings-attached sex. If you do have sex outside the relationship you might try sex without emotional attachment. Kort says many gay men do this successfuylly. This is a tricky situation, though, because some people aren't able to have sex without developing feelings. If you agree on NSA nookie make sure you know how you react to sex. Also know that even when people try not to bond with their sex partner, it sometimes happens anyway.

7. Wait five years. Kort says that in his experience five years is the most successful time to open a relationship.


8., 9. & 10. Keep an open dialogue so you can address changes and problems. Relationships are dynamic, and in order to negotiate jealousy, cheating, and expectations you have to talk and listen effectively. Kort recommends Harville Hendrix's "intentional dialogue," where one person speaks, making sure to talk only about his feelings and not assume anything about the other person. Then and the other person repeats back what they heard.

Sounds like gay men can teach us a lot about relationships. If you don't already have one, maybe you should start looking for a gay best friend...

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