Dating: Confidence vs Cockiness

Dating: Confidence vs Cockiness

Washingtonian's "Dating Diaries" profile of DC bachelor riles readers.

Washingtonian yesterday profiled an eligible DC bachelor for its "Dating Diaries" blog. Mark Drapeau (pictured, courtesy of Washingtonian), 33, was wearing jeans with his blazer and tie, and holding a rather girly-looking sidecar cocktail in his hand. In his profile, he spoke about being "over" high school by the time senior prom rolled around, his career and recent promotion at a government think tank, and "experimenting" with women outside of his race (white) and upbringing (New England) in college.

Well, apparently "Dating Diaries" readers have had enough of his kind. Since the blog posted yesterday, commenters have ripped into Drapeau for everything from his admitted taste for "fruity drinks," to referring to Michael Crichton's books as "scienctific." That the third line of his interviews reads "I was always very smart..." hasn't won him any votes either.

Had Drapeau been presented in a slightly more self-deprecating way, readers might have been much more forgiving. Even the Ph.D. himself admits in the profile:

A lot of women I know who are confident and pretty have trouble balancing those two things. They can't be confident in their intelligence without telling you about it... I dislike people who are overbearing or snobbish or have an overly optimistic sense of their self-worth. Unless you're on the cover of the New York Times or Time magazine, we're all pretty much the same. I don't like people who have a heightened sense of self. I certainly don't. I'm not one of those people trying to impress you with everything I say. I find those things a turnoff.

The flip side of cocky is low self-esteem and the oft-maddening tendencies of "fumbling, man-children" like the characters Juno and Superbad co-star, Michael Cera, generally portrays. Women who are stunning, successful and unapologetic for their accomplishments often struggle to be themselves without intimidating men but run the risk of becoming doormats if too humble.

There's a fine line between perceieved confidence and cockiness on the dating scene; unfortunately for Drapeau, he seems to have crossed it.


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