Anatomy Of A Perfect First Date
YourTango's Tom Miller and other relationship writers give Glamour first date dos and don'ts.
No matter how many first date do and don't lists singletons read, some dating mavericks still end up getting sloshed, excoriating an ex or wearing an outfit that says "bed me" instead of "wed me."
Glamour asked top relationship writers—our very own Tomfoolery blogger extraordinare included—to compile a list of 25 hard and fast tips for having a successful first date. Like anything that runs the fun-to-potentially-disastrous spectrum, the name of the dating game seems to be moderation.
When choosing a location, for example, Tom suggests the unexpected (rececssion-friendly PBR and Rock Band at home anyone?) as an interesting alternative to dinner and a movie. If you do go out, Single-ish blogger Ryan Dodge warns against a spot with too much "eye candy." If your date's going to be staring at anyone's cleavage all night, you'd rather it were your own, right?
Which brings us to the next topic: what to wear and what not to wear for the first impression. Heels? Only if you're a pro at strolling in them. Sexy undergarments? Check. Clothing that could be mistaken for sexy undergarments? Maybe not. Likewise, do your Google research (I mean, you were going to anyway, right?) but leave some virtual stones unturned. It's easier to be interested in his recent African safari if you haven't already looked through all 465 pictures of it on Facebook.
Most importantly, be yourself. Well, be your most positive, relatively sober and non-neurotic self. Glamour's list suggests saving your penchant for psychoanalysis, Debbie-Downer-tendencies and sailor-worthy swearing for a later date and time... like your wedding night!
Discussion
My initial dates tend to be impromptu and originally not seen as dates (which is true, they don't start that way) but end up becoming dates. The last one I remember I gave a fellow dance student a ride home, which turned into a lunch, which turned into a first date...and I was just looking to give her a ride home, no strings or nothing!
Simple is best. I like talking, and sometimes going to a free event provides just enough fodder to keep you both chatting.
I prefer a place where there's no noise or people too close that they can pick up our conversation. A place where we can talk without raising our voices,and no loud music Somewhere we can talk without interruptions . I prefer a park where we can sit and be at ease. With take out meals if the time and place is appropiate . No presures .No high heels for sure. If the need is for to be indoors a museum is great ,or go to a mall and sit with an ice cream.My last ex- took me to a butterfly sanctuary on the first date on the next to a public garden then a third time to his favorite spot at a river side where we looked for and found animal tracks including gators. All of those dates were very enjoyable, full of laughs . We ended getting married ,it lasted 7 yrs. We are trying to get back together again because we do enjoy being together. There was no expensive food or wine nor sexy clothes and no sex expected nor given. We just wanted to enjoy been together without pressures and we did.
