Sometimes I wonder what criteria people use to pick the person they are dating. I want to be in a relationship with someone that is just at much my friend as my partner, lover, playmate, and all around rebel-rouser. I like my relationships based on this foundation. Sure, it hurts when its over, but things happen for a reason. My partners have always been straight with me, and I with them. So when it ends we take our time apart and then we stay friends. I cheer for them when they are with a great guy, get on their case when its a loser, and give and recieve advice as they do the same for me. These friendships are wonderful, beautiful even. These women know me better than my other friends do, as I do them, and because of this we trust each other even more.
Of course these aren't women that cheated on me or abused the relationship in any way. These were relationships that just weren't meant to work out. I'm responsible for the relationships that I get into, for my part in them, and for how I choose to be when they end. Why limit yourself and lose a possibly great friend because they aren't your lover?
For those that are of the "Cut it all off, Its Over" faith...I'll say this kindly as I can, but please grow up. Unless your ex was an extremely convincing player that never made showed you any warning signs then chances are you've seen something from the begining that lets you know better, but you still went there. And if you really still can't accept this for yourself then grow up and accept that your's isn't the only view. Being friends, not Friends With Benefits, but FRIENDS with your ex is actually a pretty healthy sign. Why? Because you are picking people that you are compatible with for long term relationships...whatever they turn out to be.
Ive been divorced twice ,my first one i got custody of my 3 young children and raised them well.My 1st ex (their mother) remarried and moved on ,there is little to no communication except when we do meet at functions we greet each other with respect and thats it . My 2nd is another story ,cant seem to get her off my mind and we've been divorced for awhile now ,but we cant seem to let go .We have great sex and only lean on each other for that . Dont know if we could be friends?
Many of my friends have said, "CUT EVERYTHING! IT IS OVER!" That is hard to do, especially when we have children involved (granted they are all grown and married now). But, we are bound to run into one another at various family functions of our children (e.g. grandchildren's birthdays, holidays, etc.). I do not think staying enemies is feasible.
Yes u can become friends with your Ex, it depends on how the relationship was like. Maybe you just can't become friends immediately after the relationship is over, but after time a little talking here and there wouldn't be detrimental to your health. sometimes you realize being friends works out for the best.
I agree with you 100% any woman who has no ties to her ex is just keeping him around in case her other relationships don't last.
