Madonna and Guy Ritchie gird up for a fun, fun divorce.
Okeedokee. We have a lot of ground to cover and not much time. They're closing in on us. As mentioned yesterday by our Kristin Booker, Guy Ritchie and Madonna have finally caught up with the rest of us regarding their divorce. Whew.
At any rate, there’s been some 'breaking news' over at the New York Post regarding these two. Evidently, the whole shooting match is disintegrating because of New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez. While this source refuses to go on the record but also adds that Madonna promised to keep her relationship with A-Rod on the DL until her concert tour ended last year, evidently promoters were worried about that crucial disaffected cuckold crowd (plus Red Sox fans). Word on the street also has A-Rod attending Yom Kippur services with Madonna and her kids. Outside of the Yom Kippur thing, we're not still not ready to believe that A-Rod and Madonna would do such a thing.
Onto the money, according to Digital Spy, Guy Ritchie refuses a settlement. In many cases that means he's going to court, going for the win, circle takes the square, show me the money. But in this case, it looks like Guy Ritchie just wants out. Good effort, Guy. Not wanting money is pretty RockNRolla in our book.
And Madonna's fangs appear to be out, if Celebitchy is at all accurate. She's got a whole mess of gripes. Feel free to check them out for yourself. It's mostly a checklist about him not being there, being a bad husband, making Swept Away, the usual irreconcilable differences. Then there are the discrepancies. Celebitchy mentions that there is some conflicting information regarding Guy Ritchie's plan to ask for casholla from Madge. Some sources say he wants that paper and other sources say he just wants to get clear. The one thing that they feel pretty certain about is that there is no pre-nup. Yowza. That's a whole lot of kablingy to be just hanging loose. They're also confident that Madonna knows how to play the media (better than that ole guitar, at any rate).
And the hits keep coming. Entertainmentwise is reporting that Madonna has called Guy Ritchie 'emotionally retarded.' We wonder if the same people that protested Tropic Thunder because of Simple Jack are going to start picketing the Sticky and Sweet tour? We do know 1 thing, if you're making a conscious choice, never go full emotional retard. Audiences (as well as girlfriends and wives) cannot relate to that and you will never win husband of the year (and the coffee mug that the award entails).
But Guy Ritchie, for his part, says that the fun and 'laughs' had left the relationship, per Female First. So, what does this all mean to anyone? Probably not the end of civilization. But we'll probably get a breakup-inspired album from Madonna. And Guy Ritchie will probably start to date Selma Hayek or Uma Thurman or something RockNRolla like that, maybe make a movie with Sean Penn. It's OK to be nervous about the future. Sometimes we get scared too. We suppose you can take comfort in the fact that you can probably keep checking back in for updates and rest easy that the world will probably not end because of this (don't be too surprised if it does though).