Moving on. It's fairly clear that Paris Hilton fancies herself a princess (her grampy and 'lil bro share the name Barron for Pete's sake). But, in the eyes or real royalty, she is but a trifling member of the nouveau riche named after the most overrated city in Western Europe (narrowly edging out Florence, which is a name we'd like to hear more). Blair Waldorf learned this lesson the hard way when she courted (or whatever the female version of the full-court press is) with Lord Marcus (not that we watch that show). At any rate, The London Paper reports that PH was in Merry Olde recently. She witnessed a dust up between Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy and then shook what her mama gave her (or bought her) for Prince William. Evidently, the celebutante has vacillated between her fancy for each Prince. While it would be pretty sweet to be in line for the queen's chair but it seems like Harry has a lot more fun, despite shipping out to Afghanistan that time. The chance of either going down is pretty slim but royal bedpost notch is pretty impressive.

No, Benji, no. According to Digital Spy, Paris Hilton is wearing a ring on her left ring finger but is not engaged to be married to boyf Benji Madden. Old girl says the 2 of them are dating but not ready to marry. Not to make everyone feel old and older, but the Good Charlatan (we're not sure what you call someone from Charlotte) and Paris Hilton have been dating since February. That has got to be some kind of person record for her. Maybe she's just caught in, ugh, Good Charlotte's web. Sorry.

*Note: Slate may have been talking about the guy who designed the Campbells Soup can.