ScarJo's Wedding Delay

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ScarJo's Wedding Delay
Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds may be delaying for Obamania.

According to MyEyeWittnessNews there may be a hiccup in the nuptials between Ryan Reynolds and ScarJo. No no, Woody Allen hasn't lured his muse away from his antithesis in Double R. And some Oscar-contending Latin sexthrob hasn't swooped in with his accent, suavity, and season pass to the Louvre.

Nope, it turns out that Scarlett Johansson has come down with a severe case Obamania. And like the fever that's only cure is more cowbell, the only way to sate Obamania is with more Barack Obama. It turns out her brother-man (her actual brother not like hippies mean it) is working on the Obama campaign and she absolutely couldn't plan a wedding without his support. Turns out that ScarJo and Hunter Johansson are twins. And despite not being identical twins, they seem to share some bond that goes beyond brother-sister connection. Maybe there's something that happens when similar DNA is exposed to Obamania.

At any rate, ScarJo and Double R are still expected to get hitched before the end of the year. Election Day is November 4th and if there are ballot shenanigans (pregnant chads, quirky voting machines, Ralph Nader, and whatnot) then we can expect the election to be determined by the 8th or so. That leaves 53 days for a wedding to have its plans completed and executed. We should probably knock out 2 days for Thanksgiving, 1 for Canadian Remembrance Day, another 1 for Boxing Day, and at least 1 for Christmas. On top of that there will probably be a week (5 days or so) of celebration in the event of an Obama victory. So that leaves roughly 43 days to execute these nuptials. Good luck with that. We've got a feeling that a John McCain win would probably result in massive disruptions in all wedding plans. Nobody knows what happens if someone goes cold turkey from Obamania. Anyone know if Ryan Reynolds has become a US citizen for this election? We would not want to be him if Obama loses by 1 vote. Hey, they should make a movie on that premise.

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