Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, and Ricky Martin have something new in common.
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Stop the presses. Ricky Martin just had some kids? According to the TMZ, the "She Bangs" (heh) singer has got himself some twins via IVF and surrogacy. Evidently, he's going to take the rest of the year off to give those little shavers a proper upbringing. Facts are facts, kids basically raise themselves after 6 or 7 months, we're glad that he plans on being there for them during this really important time though. No word on the breast-feeding versus bottle sitch, but as manly, rich, and virile as Martin is he can find a proper wet nurse. It's a big step for a strapping bachelor to want kids so bad that he says 'forget it' to finding a wife before he has kids. Or irresponsibly knocking up 1 of the legion of backstage groupies. Or even being boorish enough to insist on sleeping with the surrogate, as is his right. Ricky Martin, you're alright in our book. Same goes for that Clay Aiken guy.
Matt Damon has had another kid per Dlisted. The DNA dumpsters report that this is Matt's second and Luciana Damon's (his wife) third kid, all daughters. Hah, isn't it always how it goes? A rascally poon hound from way back has a stable full of daughters. We bet he regrets all of his womanizing and is going to be one of those shotgun-and-Jack-Daniels-on-the -front-porch type dads. Payback's a bitch, Will Hunting. Welcome to planet Earth, Gia Zavala Damon, sorry that the sins of the father will ruin your dating experience. Maybe if your dad hadn't date J Lo, things would be a lot easier. But he did, so they won't. No word if he plans on following friend and fellow Hollywierdo Matthew McConaughey's lead and fertilizing a tree with his daughter's (or wife's, depending on how you look at it) placenta.
Hollywood's most precious, mid-30s couple, Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck, are having another baby. According to iVillage, Jennifer Garner confirmed the new addition to Access Hollywood the other day. This second kid (gender undisclosed) will join the adorable Violet in a safe, wonderful, loving home. This is especially blessed news as there were rumors and innuendos a few short months ago that there was some marital strife in the Garner-BenAffleck home. We can only assume that these slanderous statements were the work of some nefarious hater (possibly Matt Damon). We're glad they worked things out and are L I V I N, man. This is what you get for making it on your own merits and not riding someone's coattails. Congrats, Ben and Jen.
Please don't read into anything that we grouped Ricky Martin, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck in the same post, they're all just having or have had kids. Yep, no inference whatsoever, outside of the children thing. Thoughts? Reactions? Jokes? And because everyone likes videos, here's Jimmy Kimmel effing Ben Affleck.