Introducing Tomfoolery

Introducing Tomfoolery

Introducing Tomfoolery

Thumbnail: 
Introducing Tomfoolery

Hey Gang,
Thanks for checking in on my new new column. It's called Tomfoolery. Is the name a little cheap? Sure. But Miller Time was going to get me sued and SportGoofin’ didn’t make any sense. This new column will carry a lot of themes from the old Daily Dish but cover a little more ground and dive slightly deeper. Do I love writing about "Strange Love and Celebrity Hijinks"? Yes, yes I do. But we cover it all in Love Buzz and Celeb Love, respectively. So, what do you expect this time around? A guy’s take.

This guy's take. The opinions offered forth in Tomfoolery are mine and mine alone. I don't speak for YourTango and I certainly don't speak for all dudes. Shiite, sometimes the opinions offered in this space aren't even things that I totally buy into but instead things that I think someone with a good dose of self-esteem will find funny and people a little low on the amour propre might think is a personal jab launched directly at them. Don't worry if you're a little sensitive, I am too.

So, in this space you'll get weird bits of news, opinion, interviews, sporty videos, links I think you'll like, and anything to keep the show rolling. If you see something you like, let me know. If there's something that you don't like, feel free to let it out (the hate in your heart).

What makes me qualified to write all this up? I worked for a ladies magazine.

There are a few concepts and terms you may want to get on board with to keep up:
America’s Sweetheart: Any blond, female celebrity under 40
Australian: Manly
Boyf: Shorthand for boyfriend
Boy Wizard: Daniel Radcliffe (or any other nebbish, young celebrity sex symbol)
The Brady Bundch: Tom Brady & Giselle Bundchen (also see Brundch Date)
Bro-back Beach: The tendency for dudes to bro-up a little bit too much when they have their shirts off (a friend in Florida coined this one)
Buh Dum Pah: When a bad joke would benefit from a drum (also "is this thing on?" or "tah, aw jeez")
Colonel Angus: Sound it out, Dirty Dirty style (from SNL)
Cork soaker: Sound it out (from SNL)
Crazy like Seal: Getting crazy and having fun, not getting crazy and killing families (see Crazy like Son of Sam)
Die hard with a vengeance: The likelihood of coming back as a ghoul (or poltergeist) if a man dies while copulating
The Dirty Dirty: The Southern US
Double R: Ryan Reynolds
Double V: Vince Vaughn
Girlf: See above, don't be a jerk
Guuuuuuul Powah: The tendency for some ladies to get a little extra feminist when no dudes are around (thanks, Spice Girls)
The Handsomest Man Alive: George Clooney
The Herp: A stand-in for any STD but specifically Chlamydia
I don’t agree to that: Not being willing to agree to disagree (from The Simpons)
In Over His Head: Brad Pitt
It takes between 1 and 3 to lambada: there’s a fun, obvious cliché somewhere in there about our title, see if you can figure it out
Johnny Haircut: John Edwards (may not be mentioning him much)
Like McAdams Loves Gosling: Loving someone, a lot (thanks to SNL's Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell for this one)
Little Dishrag: A girl (or guy) that you would love to take home, preferably never see again, and hope you don’t get herp
Namean?: "Do you know what I mean?"
NEB: Non-Essential Boner, a spontaneous erection with little or no stimulus, the bane of young men and the envy of middle-aged men
Not A Home Wrecker: Sienna Miller
Not that I watch that show: I love that show
Prett-y: Very (from Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm)
A Pretty Cool Guy: Billy Zane (from Zoolander)
Pretty Tony: Tony Romo
Satyriasis: Nymphomania in a male
ScarJo: Scarlett Johansson
A Spade: A dude that does unbelievably well with the ladies despite appearances; "call a Spade a Spade" is a compliment
Svenborgia: A place in Europe that only rich people know about (30 Rock)
Wait For It: Inserting ‘Wait for it’ between syllables of words adds some sweet emphasis, NPH from How I Met Your Mother invented this
Walk of pride: Owning a walk of shame
Yo-Yo Dating: On-again, off-again dating

We’ll be adding to the list regularly. Let me know if you got any ideas.
 

Join the Conversation