What the what? Chris Kattan of Saturday Night Live fame was recently married. Pretty cool, or so we thought. But then 8 weeks after getting hitched Corky Romano goes and gets himself separated according to E!Online. Don't get us wrong, 8 weeks is a long time for anyone to do anything or anyone... if they're 14. All the way back in late June we thought that these 2 stood a reasonable chance of making a real go of it. It wasn't like they got married on an emotional bender in Vegas (we're looking at you, Peaches Geldof). The 2 had been dating for 3 years and engaged for a year and a half. What gives, mang? We suppose any 8-week period in any relationship can cause breakup (hint, hint: it's usually the last 8 weeks) but we know for a fact that it's not supposed to be the first 8 weeks of the marriage. We hope that it was a long ceremony because it sure was a short honeymoon (thanks, it was more or less from Spaceballs). Maybe Chris Kattan and, eh, Sunshine Tutt will let cooler heads prevail. Or that their whole relationship was just a goof.
In other nearly inexplicable news, the saga of Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson may be continuing. Last time we checked they were at a pretty good breaking up point; they dated, had a breakup, he kirked out, he recovered, they dated again, he more or less showed her the door, and then she dated his sorta idol, Lance Armstrong. That is a full on-again, off-again cycle. This opera does not require a fifth act. The patrons of the arts have had enough. If anything, let's just tack an epilogue, "They were polite to each other when they saw one another for the rest of their lives. Everyone died 80 years later."
Female First reports that old Kate Hudson has been blowing up Owen Wilson's phone since her split with the world's 2nd greatest American (now behind Michael Phelps). Let's just put this puppy to bed, aight?
What do we know? Maybe they're meant to be together but this feels a lot like that relationship in Say Anything (not Diane Court and Lloyd Dobler). Corey's a songwriter and guitarist and Joe's the coolest dude in town. So, Joe and Corey breakup and Corey writes "65 songs... 65. They're all about you. They're all about pain." One of them is titled "Joe lies (when he cries)." Yet Joe continues to torment with Corey telling her, "I want to get back together, Mimi is gonna go to college and I'm gonna be alone and I'm gonna break up with her before she leaves, have sex with me." We're not saying that Kate Hudson is Joe or that Owen is Corey or that Lance Armstrong is Mimi, but, it's worth debating.
Take 'em home, Peter Gabriel.