No Boyfriend, No Bling
After breaking up, what do you do with the gifts he gave you?
A few weeks ago, I went out to dinner with my parents to celebrate my birthday. After dinner we came home for the Cake and Presents portion of the evening (my favorite part, of course).
I started opening gifts—a new novel, a cute little cardigan for work, a hanging decoration for my apartment—when I reached for what was clearly a jewelry box. My mother had given me a gorgeous necklace—stylish, dressy but not too dressy, and it hits just the right spot on my neck. Then I saw she had also bought coordinating earrings. My first reaction was a huge smile and a big "thank you!" My second reaction was to think, "Finally, I have something to replace the jewelry set Alex gave me!"
For my birthday two years ago, Alex got me a beautiful necklace with matching earrings. Again, it was stylish, dressy but not too dressy, and it hit just the right spot on my neck. From then on, I wore those pieces to every dinner, every event, and every single job interview. Until we broke up, at which point I couldn't even look at them, much less wear them. They've sat in a box at the bottom of my drawer ever since.
These aren't the only tombstones in my Ex-Boyfriend Jewelry Graveyard. I have a couple more pieces from Alex: a necklace he gave me on our very first Christmas together (I wore it almost every day when I studied abroad and had to leave him for four months), as well as a beautiful diamond necklace he gave me for a Valentine's Day that I'll probably never wear again (such a shame!).
I suppose I could have gotten rid of them. But I'm too sentimental and too frugal to throw them away; he never would have taken them back; and selling them on eBay (or the broken-hearted equivalent, www.exboyfriendjewelry.com) just felt wrong. So I kept them because I like them, and because maybe one day I'll be able to look at them—even wear them—again.
As for now, I'm thrilled to have the pieces my mother gave me. Not only are they beautiful and fit my style perfectly, but they mean I can stop scrounging for replacement jewelry every time I dress up (plastic necklaces from H&M hardly qualify as 'nice'). Even better, I can stop pulling Alex's jewelry out of their boxes, considering them for a second, and then burying them back in the drawer because, well, I'm just not ready for that yet.
Discussion
The only stuff my recent ex has given me has been clothes mainly. No jewelry so I'm good with those! I had another ex give me some earrings, and although I don't wear them alot I occassionaly do. Another ex was a practical person and would give me stuff that I could use, like a new DVD playrer, cookware, etc. So those things I use regularly.
I have kept momentos from each relationship, or the ones that mattered I suppose. I'm that kind of person though. It's fun, but hard at the same time, to look through that stuff and remember good times. But it was an important part of my life and sometimes I just can't get that stuff go.
I have a few different items from past relationships, but as soon as I was comfortable with letting them go I sold them at a garage sale (they were not expensive at all).
And then there are just one or two items that I set aside until I felt okay about wearing. (these items are from my relationships that I don't mind remembering, lessons learned.)
Currently I am faced with my jewelry from my soon to be ex husband... I really love what he gave me and I have no problem wearing them. But I might just tuck them away until I feel it's alright to wear them.
It's all in how you look at it. :)
I don't have this problem....
The diamond necklace he gave me for Valentine's Day and the engagement ring... He took back. The only jewelry items he gave me that I still have are a cheap ring and bracelet that I hated from the time he gave them to me...and never wore them. He didn't take those. However, he snatched up the diamonds and he's the type that would give them to another girl [like he'd bought them for her.].
