From ex to friend? Is it a good idea? Four different takes.
breakup, one of the parties involved wants to "be friends." Generally this is the lesser-wounded party speaking, and generally the budding friendship becomes one of two things: wilted or messy.You know the story: after a
The 4-Way Panel from Divine Caroline recently tackled this issue for a woman who wrote in hoping to understand the feelings of jealousy that arise when her "ex-turned-friend" talks about her dates with other women. The panel foursome, one of each gender and sexual orientation, unsurprisingly had some varying viewpoints on the woman's dilemma.
Here's a brief rundown of their responses:
The Gay Girl: If you're fulfilled in your life in other areas, including in other friendships, what your ex is doing is going to matter a lot less.
The Straight Girl: This is normally a disastrous situation, but there are exceptions to every rule. Give it time to play out any awkwardness or unrequited feelings, and you just might make the friendship work.
The Gay Guy: Figure out if you're still in love with her, and if you are, tell her. If you lose her friendship, isn't this better than being in jealousy-filled limbo?
The Straight Guy: Obviously you want her back as a lover not a friend, and its a bad idea to be wasting your time on someone who doesn't cherish you. Walk away.