McConaughey Believes In Placenta Power

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McConaughey Believes In Placenta Power
Matthew McConaughey uses son's placenta to grow stronger trees.

We're not even really sure why we're reporting this (except out of love for Wooderson) but according to Access Hollywood, oft-shirtless actor Matthew McConaughey buried the placenta created by his son's birth in hopes that it would fertilize the land. Evidently, this is a practice followed by many cultures. We could not name 1, but it sounds like something cultures would do. When we read the original header "Matthew McConaughey: Birth To Bear More Fruit" we assumed that they were going to start making more babies.. in accordance to prophecy. And they we read, "Matthew McConaughey says the birth of his son will help bring a little joy to others in the world someday." And we were all, "Damn, that's some good thinking to save any genetic material for their stem-cell potential, Matty McC is on the friggin' ball."

Yeah, then we get to this thing about the making afterbirth fueled trees in Australia and sort of get it. See, the genetic material and proteins make the tree stronger. Yeah, that's basically it. No word on how new mommy Camilla Alves is taking all this shamanism. Can you imagine how awesome it would be if Matthew McConaughey was just a regular dude? And worked in your office? "Yeah, we had a little baby over the weekend. It was incredible, man. It just made me realize how incredible it is just to be L I V I N. You know? I'm thinking about burying the placenta under that lil sycamore we got. Maybe make it big enough to put in a tree fort for junior. Let me know if you're up for that shirtless bike ride this weekend. Can't wait for the wife to get healed so we can have a little naked bongo session. Alright alright."

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