In news that you couldn't (and probably shouldn't) care less about, UK soccer stud Wayne Rooney had one of the most expensive weddings of all time over the weekend. The Manchester United star dropped a reported $10 million on his Italian wedding to high school sweetheart Coleen McLoughlin. Yep, after winning the 2008 Champions League and being regarded as the 3rd most marketable soccer dude (behind Ronaldinho and Beckham) things couldn't be much awesomer for the UK striker. Except that the Catholic Church isn't convinced that the wedding ought to count.
According to The Telegraph, La Cereva Monastery, where the weekend ceremony was held, had been deconsecrated. The Rooneys had been made aware of this before the fact and a second location was suggested to them. But the 22-year old chavs had their hearts set on the monastery and so they did up. After the ceremony, the party put down lobsters and burgers and quaffed bubbly. The best quote of the thing was, Father Mario Ostigoni, the priest in charge of the marriage office, warned: "If the marriage was celebrated at La Cervara, then it is invalid in the eyes of the Church, ipso facto." The Rooneys insist that the wedding is a fait accompli, Father, in the eyes of the law and the church. Let's not let this thing go on ad infinitum. People have been excommunicated over less. And the church wonders why people are jumping ship left and right. Habeas corpus, in vino veritas, et cetera.