Massive Swinger Party Hits Miami

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miami swinger party
SwingFest 2008 hits sunny South Florida.

Massive swinger party hits Miami. And? According to the Detroit Free Press SwingFest has kicked off in Hollywood, Florida (a town just north of North Miami Beach). The shindig takes place at the Westin Diplomat Resort and the only rules are there are no rules. Fine, the only rules are to keep covered up at the pool area and the hotel staff is off limits; have at it, sinners. We can imagine that there are some other rules, such as don't commit any crimes or get anyone pregnant. We would recommend having a safe word for BDSM play and a hand signal or code word to alert your spouse when the other couple is starting to creep you out.

There's some speculation that SwingFest's planners picked sunny South Florida for its relaxed stance on all things swing, but owner Jason Jean said that they just liked the weather and hotel. We we're more nervous than a whore in church that they were going to pick Duncanville, Texas. That would have been just plain awkward.

 

The event won't be an all-out pork-stravaganza. There are lectures on legal issues surrounding 'the lifestyle,' pick-up techniques, and some more risqué 'how to' lessons. Who are we kidding, it'll be an all-out pork-stravaganza. It looks like everyone wins, except for a concurrent convention of children’s textbook editors. Whatever, they'll have fun. It'll at least be a source of jokes for a few years and have you ever noticed that some people in industries that we might call conservative are secretly a little freaky deak? Like the DisneyLand employees that drink, fornicate, and play dirty Pictionary as soon as they climb out of their Goofy costumes?

We're starting to buy into that modern-day Roman Empire comparison a little more each day. Well, to each her own. Oh, and Mary Carey is going to be there. Damn, we should have gone, we've never met a real, live gubernatorial candidate before.

 
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