The women start kissing, then progress downward. The guys approach and join in the fun, until everyone is engaged in some form of intercourse and oral sex. The men swap wives and "play" with one another's spouse one-on-one. Only during the swap part, the women are reaching for each other again and kissing. Positions change, but "it's normal sex—it's just that four people are there," Dave explains.

When it's over, Dave makes another joke to lighten the mood. They get dressed, make small talk, and go back up to the bar to drink and chat with friends.

If it sounds shocking or too matter-of-fact, that's the reaction a lot of people have these days. It's hard to comprehend how people, especially women, end up here. There is a popular phrase, "The lifestyle is all about the woman," says Tabu Social Club owner Vicki. If the woman isn't up for it, it won't happen. Certainly, out of almost every married woman I spoke with, it was her desire to be with another woman that drove them to swing. One said, "the lifestyle was an avenue to permit me to be with women." Another confided: "I was always a little curious about sex between two women. The lifestyle let me explore this part of me and discover I enjoy it very much. Women tend to be more passionate in many ways and being able to do this without being looked down upon has been a wonderful sexual experience."

Lori works at a Washington, DC law firm during the day, attends law school at night and is the mother of two with a third on the way. She fits swinging into her and her husband's busy schedule. Last summer, after seven years of marriage, Lori and her husband sought out their first swinging encounter. She had long thought about the lifestyle. "I'm bisexual and a very sexual person. My husband and I had conversations about it even before marriage, and in the years that followed he wasn't interested at all, so I dropped the topic." Six years later they talked about it for almost a year and made the decision to do it.

How did they even know where to go? They looked online, first on adult personals websites that resulted in mostly spam and fake profiles. Email exchanges with random couples went nowhere. Then someone told them about SwingLifeStyle.com (SLS), which led to their first experience, who turned them on to altplayground.com (APG) and LoveVoodoo.com, where they began to really meet people. When new online friends offered to take them to Tabu Social Club, Lori was very nervous. "It took a lot for me to finally walk through the door," she recalls. "But when I did, I quickly found it was a very inviting, comfortable atmosphere, with no pressure." The first few times they went, they stuck close to friends and just talked with people. The third time, they arranged to meet another couple at the club and ended up playing with them there.