Against Sexual Equality

By YourTango

Against Sexual Equality
One man argues that women need to bring emotion back into sex.

So what's the problem? Well, there are a few. First of all, sex is becoming more about technique and less about the expression of genuine emotion. You know, affection for another human being. This is the key ingredient–along with experience, open-mindedness, and comfort-level–that makes for the best sex. The problem here is that women have become convinced that, in order to become the equals of men, they must act like them. And I mean sexually. To "act like a man," conceptually speaking, is to have sex purely for physical pleasure without expecting a commitment and without involving emotions. This idea is at the core of the freer sexuality of the modern woman. And it is a sham. That's the dirty little secret.

In order to understand why this state of affairs makes men more than a little nervous, you have to understand what men really want. What they want is a woman who makes them feel like a man. And women, I would argue, want men who make them feel like a woman. Here's the part where–brace yourselves–I am going to suggest that men and women are different. Or at least that, underneath all the bluster, they have different expectations of themselves and one another. Men want to be decisive, assertive, to take the lead. And women want that from them. This is a Darwinian instinct that three or four decades of social reprogramming cannot touch.

Take a look at the personal ads on "" and note how many women list a preference for men who are six feet tall or better. If pressed on why they list this requirement, women will tell you that they like feeling small in proximity to the man they are with. I report this from the perspective of a six-foot-four male, not an embittered, vertically challenged one, and, believe me, I have encountered this phenomenon with surprising regularity. While we have progressed far past the point where women should have any practical need to depend on males for protection or the food they eat, these types of instincts run deep and they add considerable complication to the state of modern sexual relations between women and men.

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