Donald Trump just says what we're all thinking. He told an AOL interviewer, "Generally speaking, I think a strong and successful person will have a stronger sex drive than someone who isn't successful." Seriously ya'll, historically men only get successful so they can break off as many women as possible. Wealth is for 1 thing and 1 thing only: tail. And guys that can't spell S-U-C-C-E-S-S clearly have small, placid wangs or are gay. The rest of the gender should probably just quit their pathetic jobs and maybe start a Grey's Anatomy fanfiction site together. We're glad that Trump threw in "Generally speaking," because we know a bunch of lazy dudes that claim to have a ton of sex and a handful of successful dudes that are too tired or consumed by stress to be interested in sex.
So, is the Donald right? Are success and sex drive twin barrels of the same hyper-aggressive, phallic cannon? Are, say, Diddy's sexual appetite and drive for success intrinsically linked? The other side of this old rhubarb is that sexy women are more attracted to successful dudes. You know the confidence, the charisma, and the stacks are pretty easy to fall in love with. And as the blazing hot gold diggers keep runnin' that revolving door, the successful man can't help but keep his sex drive. It's a positive feedback loop. Throw in some yayo, Viagra, and firearms and things really start getting crazy.
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Any thoughts? Did Trump make a mistake in letting everyone know that the stereotype of the poonhound high roller is dead on? Is "I'm kind of a big deal" actually a good pickup line when used unironically? And what about those dudes that learn guitar to pick up chicks? And what of their king, John Mayer? Are they going to throw him out of the club? Other than the sex drive thing, it's still a fun interview. He talks about his new son but refuses to name him specifically and is just unbelievably relieved that whatshername doesn't mind doing the parenting stuff that lesser men (read: chumps) get stuck with. He can spend the rest of his time doing whatever it is he does.