Wife Wants A Threesome

I think it's also obvious that she really hurt her husband the last time they did this, and even though he may want to do it again, he also wants more control over the situation this time. And, at least subconsciously, he wants to stick it to his wife a little bit by getting a stripper for their threesome.

Karen's trying to cover her ass by saying the stripper idea isn't "smart," and that strippers aren't "clean." The truth, of course, is there are plenty of clean strippers out there. (The husband isn't even asking to get a prostitute, after all, which would be a lot more risky). I think Karen knows full well why she's afraid to get a stripper: She's afraid her husband will find the stripper more attractive than her. And I think the husband knows this, too. He's probably using this as a way to get back at her for hurting him the first time around.

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Dan: I think what it comes down to is this: Karen is probably a very sweet, very kind-hearted woman. But she's also human, and she has sexual needs like everyone else. For her, these obviously include having sex with her best friend. And yet her husband's insecurity about his weight is the only real reason this is a problem. But because Karen doesn't want to risk offending her husband by having a real, honest conversation about his weight, or about their sexual boundaries, or for that matter anything else, she's turned to me.

And I know what she wants me to tell her. She wants me to say that her husband knew what he was getting himself into when they got married, and now he's being unreasonable and unfair, and she should do whatever the hell she wants. But you know what? That's simply not the case. I mean, she married this guy! And if there's anything that's almost guaranteed to destroy the foundation of a long-term relationship, it's lack of communication. And that's something that appears to have been going on in this relationship for quite some time.

Carrie: I think both Karen and her husband are asking for a lot of trouble in their relationship if they don't talk honestly with each other before doing this. The husband needs a forum to explain how he felt the last time they had a threesome.

And Karen needs to be able to talk to her husband about sensitive topics as well. It's a really bad sign that she's not even able to discuss his weight with him, especially when you consider how big of a factor that's become in their search for sexual partners.

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I found something else about her question a bit troubling. Did you notice how she didn't mention anything about the third party? I think these two are so worried about themselves, and about what they want, that they haven't even thought about out how they're going to handle this new addition to their relationship. For example, is this something they just want to experience once? Or do they want it to be an ongoing thing with someone specific? If they do want it to be ongoing, they'll need to realize that the third partner is most likely going to want something out of the relationship too.