Wife Wants A Threesome

I was bisexual when I met my husband. He loved the idea at first, but then it got personal—he was only ok with it as long as he was involved. The girl I was with at the time is my best friend to this day. She’s married, by the way, and her husband doesn’t know about her past with me. She wants to get back together, but she doesn’t want my husband involved. I don’t want to do it behind his back, because I wouldn’t want him doing it behind my back. We had a threesome about seven years ago with the same girl – my best friend. My husband was jealous that I liked being with her more than with him. I loved both!

Recently, we’ve been getting back into the discussion of not necessarily opening the relationship, but having another threesome. Because he and I are only ok with it as long as we’re both involved—every time.

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I'm ok if it just happens unplanned, and spontaneously. But my husband is set on "planning and finding someone," which is really hard to do. Most of the people who are into it only want me involved. He's a pretty big guy, so most girls find him unattractive. I love him for who he is, and his size doesn't bother me. My problem is this: How do I relay that information to him without crushing his feelings? Should I not say anything at all?

He's always wanting to go to strip clubs in order to "find" someone, but I don't like the thought of having a stripper come home with us. Not clean, not smart, and I'm not comfortable with it, either. Any suggestions? I want it as bad as he does. I just don't want to pursue it the way he does.

Dan: You see what I mean? That's a tough one, isn't it? Although I will say this: Something I noticed right off the bat was that this woman wasn't being honest with herself. Not at all. Nor was she being honest when she wrote me this email. Let me give you an example.

At the very beginning of the letter, she explains that when her relationship with her now-husband first started, the guy was fine with the fact that she occasionally slept with other women. But at some point, he obviously came to the realization that Karen enjoyed her girlfriend's naked body more than she enjoyed his. Naturally, it was after that point that he changed his tune about Karen's dangerous liaisons: It was no longer alright, unless he was right there in the room with the two of them.

But in the next paragraph of Karen's email, she says this: "He and I are only ok with it as long as we're both involved—every time."

Well... not exactly. It's clear as day that Karen's husband isn't comfortable with the idea of his wife screwing around without him. But when she says, "He and I are only ok with it as long as we're both involved," that's just complete bullshit. It sounds to me as if she's practically dying to fuck this friend by herself, and to be completely honest, I don't blame her. After all, if the friend isn't into fat guys, but the husband shows up and starts putting his dick into everything that moves, that's going be one seriously awkward scene!

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Carrie: First, I'd tell her it's pretty obvious that both she and her husband need to take a step back, and really talk about a few things. I don't think this woman is being honest with herself at all, in my opinion.