Good news for vegans and vegetarians who'd like to master paying the cable bill on-time before procreating. The BBC reports that one portion of soy every two days leads to 41 million fewer sperm per milileter. It seems that a chemical in soy called isoflavones, which can have similar effects as oestrogen, screws with male hormones. Don't freak, though; the average guy has between 80 million and 120 million per milileter -- that's a lot of the little swimmers.

As the Beeb points out, people in Asian countries consume lots more soy than us red-meat lovin' American and they've still got an adequate fertility rate. However, it's telling that of 99 men studied by the Harvard Public School of Health, the men who chowed on soy most frequently had less sperm-y come.

Who needs spermicidal lubricant when you've got veggie burgers?