Self Pleasure For Beginners
Tips and advice to make sex with your favorite person even better: a how-to masturbation guide.
The G-spot isn't actually a spot, it's more of a cluster, and after you're aroused you should insert one or two fingers into the vagina, and massage the top wall of the vagina with the tips of your fingers. The G-spot is actually the urethral sponge, so even though you're massaging the vagina, you're technically aiming for a place beyond what you can touch. Go in an inch or two to find the G-spot. Bend your fingers in a "come over here" motion. Move further back on that top wall and massage the cluster, or the spot known as the A-spot. That's where women should go if they're trying to ejaculate. Ejaculation is fun, it's a great release, and no it's not urine, but it's not necessary to ejaculate to have a mind-blowing orgasm so don't feel you have to do it. Next, turn your finger down and massage the perineal sponge, which is the erectile tissue between the vagina and the rectum. Some women like stimulation on the top wall better, others prefer the bottom, and some want no internal stimulation at all. If you need clitoral stimulation to get where you need to go, you are not alone. Only 30% of women can orgasm without clitoral stimulation, so don't be shy about rubbing your own clit when you need to.
So how you should rub? Try making circles around your clit. Draw the number eight around your vulva. Test out the alphabet. Use your hand like a paintbrush. Play with the shaft of your clit (check it out, just massage the clitoral hood to find it). Tap on your clit as you get closer to orgasm. Squeeze and release your PC (AKA kegel) muscles. Set the mood, listen to music, light candles, dress in something silky. Take your time. Try the shower head, or position yourself under the running water from the tub's faucet.
You can always use a sex toy. A vibrator has given loads of women their first orgasms, and vibration on your clitoris can feel spectacular. Sex toys that buzz will not make it more difficult for you to achieve great sex with a partner; in fact it can make it easier. A vibe is a great teacher tool, as are curved dildos and butt plugs. However, if you’re afraid a vibrator will desensitize your clitoris, simply stop using it and go back to your own Jackson Five.
Lube can help too. Lots of vaginas self-lubricate, but not all, and even the ones that do don't do it all the time. Women need more lube depending on the time of the month or if they're on anti-depressants or birth control. Plus, your clit and bum don’t self-lubricate, so if you're playing with them when you masturbate it's nice (or in the case of the ass, necessary) to add lube. It will make the task at hand go way smoother.
There are so many ways to twist, flick, massage and love yourself, so don't limit your options or your escapades to just one way all the time. The more you learn about yourself, the more you can share. If you're in a relationship, masturbate with your partner, it's not only hot to watch each other show some self-love, but it will add a lot to your partner sex. So get down with you sexy self and celebrate the love.
Discussion
What a great, great, informative post. I will be sending my readers here.
Not only is everything you say true physically - there's an emotional benefit to masturbating, too - you get to work on your fear of intimacy. How? Try imagining a gorgeous, drop-dead amazing man with you. Experience how shy you feel, and slowly work with it, relax, breathe - it's sort of yoga-sex when you treat it as a form of meditation - Tantra. If you're like most women, you'll get even shyer and tense up. This is such a great clue to work with opening up, melting, allowing yourself to be vulnerable to a man, let loose your sensuality - and even doing this a few times will almost completely shift your "vibe" out there in the world. Thanks for the post, Rori Raye (http://blog.HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com)
Wtf? How cme I can't have an orgasm? I feel so stupid. I just can't! I wanna know how it feels. I feel like I make my boyfriend feel like he's not good at what he's doing whe in reality he's doing everything right. I need answers? What should I do?
That statement about the clitoris having double the nerve endings as a penis isn't true. It only applies to circumcised penises. That mutilation removes ~20,000 nerve endings and removes the skin, that protects the remaining ~2,000 nerve endings, which will cause them to deaden and die over time, until none are left. It is also designed to cause the remaining tissue to callous as it dies. Whoever said the Victorian days are over?
That is really sad. I did not circumcise my son, and the man I'm with is not, and I'm very glad for them both. It really should be outlawed unless hugely medically necessary. I understand though, that more and more people are keeping their children intact. I think that's a plus.
i have been masturbating for years and before i was married for twenty three years and i feel ive gotten so much better at it i can have 3 orgasms or more if i want and i am 50 yrs old . so to all the girls out there no matter what age you are practice, practice, practice.
Best description about female masturbation I've read in a long time. Congrats! Take hold ladies, you have the power for pleasure in your own hands and brain. Together you can make fabulous music. Add a little erotica and you have the perfect combo. A Woman's Goodnight
The best masturbation, in my opinion, is when someone else does it for me.
