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Self Pleasure For Beginners

Tips and advice to make sex with your favorite person even better: a how-to masturbation guide.

It doesn't matter that masturbation is the safest and possibly most satisfying sex you can have, when it comes to a ménage a moi, lots of ladies (and men) are still in the closet.  For starters, let's applaud the fact that we're not living in the Victorian era, when women were restricted from riding bicycles and horses, and some from sewing and squatting, lest they get too excited. And we don't have to visit the doctor's offices anymore just so they can use a large vibratory apparatus to calm us from "hysteria." We can also eat graham crackers and corn flakes without the knowledge that both foods were once made to stop people from having sexy time with themselves. No longer do most of us believe that masturbating will cause us to go blind, lose a limb or even lose our lives. But lots of us still see masturbation as second-tier sex, or the sex you have when you can't get the sex you want, when the truth is, if you don't know your body, how can you expect anyone else to know your body?

In the 1994 book Sex in America, the question of who puts their own hands down their own pants, was, hands down, an act that less than 50% of women admitted to doing. Today, between 45 and 80% of women have at least tried masturbation, a larger number indeed, but still, not enough of us are decorating our own closets, even if we’re hiding in them.

That means it's time to rub the 'shun' out of masturbation. It's time to shout from the rooftops that we masturbate and we love it! We love it, or should love it, because masturbation, and orgasms, can help relieve menstrual cramps and migraines, improve your skin tone, help you fall asleep faster, increase your desire for more orgasms, and can even make you multi-orgasmic. The 91-year-old actor Ernest Borgnine praised masturbating "a lot" as the key to staying young, and 78-year-old masturbation maven Betty Dodson is still as saucy and sexy as ever thanks, in part, to her Hitachi Magic Wand.  Even Britney Spears and Madonna haven't shied away from talking—and simulating—masturbation, so let's lower a hand (or a sex toy) and join the wank-off wagon! 

Women may get the "short end of the stick," when it comes to jilling off, but just because we don't have a dangling participle doesn't mean masturbation isn't the bomb. The clitoris is your best bud, and it's the only organ in the human body designed exclusively for pleasure. With somewhere between 6,000 and 8,000 nerve endings (if you're keeping score, that's almost double the amount of nerve endings in a penis), you can get a lot of feeling out of your clit. Just be gentle at first. Instead of going directly for the head, rub the shaft. Massage the hood. Turn it on slowly and gently. Insert a finger or two into your vagina if you like the feeling of something inside of you when you masturbate. That's where you'll find the G-spot.

Can you relate?

Discussion

pooltoy Single anal sex is great!!!!
Posted October 24, 2009

I feel mutual masturbation is probably the best however solo is good when you are away from your mate or you are without a friend or mate.

Score: 0

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DominaDoll Complicated sex toy reviews rock!
Posted September 12, 2009

Great article! Let's hear it for the clitoris! And, the G-spot too!

Score: 0
LyndaW Married Blunt and Married23 years
Posted March 1, 2009

Where was this article 10 years ago? Ha Ha Ha Sent link to all of my friends. Thank you!

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Rori Raye Married
Posted February 27, 2009

What a great, great, informative post. I will be sending my readers here.

Not only is everything you say true physically - there's an emotional benefit to masturbating, too - you get to work on your fear of intimacy. How? Try imagining a gorgeous, drop-dead amazing man with you. Experience how shy you feel, and slowly work with it, relax, breathe - it's sort of yoga-sex when you treat it as a form of meditation - Tantra. If you're like most women, you'll get even shyer and tense up. This is such a great clue to work with opening up, melting, allowing yourself to be vulnerable to a man, let loose your sensuality - and even doing this a few times will almost completely shift your "vibe" out there in the world. Thanks for the post, Rori Raye (http://blog.HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com)

Score: 1
Posted February 21, 2009

Wtf? How cme I can't have an orgasm? I feel so stupid. I just can't! I wanna know how it feels. I feel like I make my boyfriend feel like he's not good at what he's doing whe in reality he's doing everything right. I need answers? What should I do?

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Posted February 19, 2009

That statement about the clitoris having double the nerve endings as a penis isn't true. It only applies to circumcised penises. That mutilation removes ~20,000 nerve endings and removes the skin, that protects the remaining ~2,000 nerve endings, which will cause them to deaden and die over time, until none are left. It is also designed to cause the remaining tissue to callous as it dies. Whoever said the Victorian days are over?

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onewriter Taken He is sweet.
Posted June 10, 2009

That is really sad. I did not circumcise my son, and the man I'm with is not, and I'm very glad for them both. It really should be outlawed unless hugely medically necessary. I understand though, that more and more people are keeping their children intact. I think that's a plus.

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nubiancoco Single
Posted January 16, 2009

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH GETTING ACQUIANTED WITH YOUR SELF.

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debbie Single
Posted January 10, 2009

i have been masturbating for years and before i was married for twenty three years and i feel ive gotten so much better at it i can have 3 orgasms or more if i want and i am 50 yrs old . so to all the girls out there no matter what age you are practice, practice, practice.

Score: 1
Mario Single
Posted January 9, 2009

thanx for the tips ^-^. speeking of masturbation, I compleatly agree with Tweety of tha shame of ones self part.

Score: -1
sonny21 Complicated
Posted December 24, 2008

the first time i tryed it i was 14 and i never stop after that. i think it's he best one between my boyfriend and myself masturbation lol

Score: 1
Bren5360 Starting Over
Posted December 23, 2008

Ha my toy box is under my bed I masterbate once a week and my partner who is actually long distance loves to hear me over the phone good article

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tweety Taken
Posted December 11, 2008

I'm not ashamed of masturbation. If you are than your ashamed of your self its wonderful and everyone should try it.

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janarayne Engaged
Posted December 5, 2008

Best description about female masturbation I've read in a long time. Congrats! Take hold ladies, you have the power for pleasure in your own hands and brain. Together you can make fabulous music. Add a little erotica and you have the perfect combo. A Woman's Goodnight

Score: 1
BigAl Taken
Posted November 13, 2008

Nothing hotter than a girl who knows what she needs.

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Posted November 3, 2008

The best masturbation, in my opinion, is when someone else does it for me.

Score: 1
Posted October 30, 2008

It's about time women embrace the control they have over their bodies and ultimately the world.

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Popple Married Marriage on shaky ground
Posted October 24, 2008

I once had an orgasm while I slept. Fantastic. I guess you would call that sub-conscious self pleasure?

Score: 1
Mango Married
Posted October 24, 2008

I read somewhere that achieving your own orgasm makes it so you can't give that control over to someone else and you'll never have an orgasm with somoen else.

Score: -2
Lolita Single It all feels good.
Posted October 25, 2008

where did you hear that? church? that sounds like sketchy info at best.

Score: 1
Seaman Single
Posted October 21, 2008

I think more women should be in charge of their own orgasms.

Score: 0

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