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| Fighting – Good or Bad For The Relationship? |
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I would have to say that fighting sometimes can't be avoided.In my relationship we fight often because sometimes guys tend to forget that women have feelings aswhile.So knowing the importance of your relationship is key.I am a home body and my SO is outgoing,yes I like him to spend as much time with me as posssible.He comes up with a thousand things to do some weekends and I'm like NO THAT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN.where our problem comes in he can't stand for me to leave the house without him.That is so not fair |
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There are sooo many different ways to look at this, and, in truth, all of the replies have valid points (well, most of 'em anyway). I used to be a "no reason to fight" kinda guy. I'd roll over. I never saw it as a good way to communicate. Then I ended up with a woman that loved to fight. Not huge, dish breaking blow-outs, but little challenges that in the end really strengthened the relationship. I know there are some that say they have parents who have been wed for decades and rarely if ever fight, but I'm willing to be that those fights, and, more importantly, what they actually chose to learn from those fights, is one more thing that really helped strengthen their marriage. My SO has a lot of insecurities, and bless her, she is doing her best to work on them, but it still brings up ridiculous fights. At first I'd jump right in and go toe-to-toe with her. During these fights I got to learn what triggers this with her, what she really needs at that moment, and how to open up even stronger lines of communication. We have a great relationship, and we occasionally have play fights with each other, and we love it! But then again, I like my ladies to be a bit feisty. Fights that don't get resolved and just keep de-evolving...that is something that really requires a hard looking after by both you and your SO. I like the writing stuff down idea because sometimes it really helps you to get to the root of the issue and not just the surface symptoms. Counseling is another really great option with only 2 problems. Both partners really need to be in it together so that they can be really open to the advice, and you need to be sure that you are seeing a good counselor or therapist. There are a lot that are either drug-pushers or gold-diggers who just keep the issues spinning out as long as possible to keep you going in for years. A good therapist empowers their clients so that the clients are eventually able to deal with their issues without the aid of counsel. Bottom line, you and your husband need to talk and at the very least agree that there is something wrong that needs to be worked on. If he isn't willing to accept that and work towards that end then there isn't really anything else for you to do but decide how important it is for you to stay in an unbalanced marriage. |
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I think I hold things in for too long. When we finally have a fight I really blow up! I cant stand fighting with him, but sometimes I just don't feel appreciated. He knows this, we've spoke about it. I just don't think he gets HOW stressed out I am. I told him I need more of a commitment from him. We've been together for 8 years, have 2 children, but still not married. A part of me wonders if he'll ever want to get married. I am 7 years older than him. I don't want to leave him but when we argue, It's usually me that starts it, I threaten to leave. yes the make up sex is awesome, but I still feel unhappy inside afterwards. I love him, and I know he loves me. I just wonder if I'm expecting too mugh |
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Make up sex is kind of awesome. Second only to hate sex. Just putting it out there. |
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Fighting is rarely ever worth it. If it is that important to him, I just let it go. It makes my life a lot easier and his too. And we've been married for a long time. |
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fighting is part of every relationship, but some more than others. i seem to be one of those people who fights no matter what. it can be exhausting, but the make up sex is always great. seriously. i can't really imagine being in a relationship where you don't fight, or only fight rarely. i think i might be bored. plus when you fight you say what you actually mean. it's easier to say things during a fight than to bring something up when you're getting along well. i know that's not the healthiest way to be, but, that's how i am. |
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Fighting usually means the man has started slacking off on his end of the relationship! |
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I think if you are constantly arguing then there's a problem. But life needs balance and that means sometimes having to fight. I always feel like a good fight clears the air in a relationship. You just have to remember to never go to bed angry. |
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don't go to bed angry? that is such crap. sometimes what I need is to sleep it off and I am so much happier in the morning. I hate that "don't go to bed angry" advice. |
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I always hear people say that fighting helps strengthen a relationship and that it's healthy, but my parent's have been married for 25 years and they rarely fight. They're best buds and they do almost everything together. They get on each others nerves sometimes and argue a little bit, but the arguments usually fade within a half an hour. |
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I agree with this idea. Lasting couples don't "fight" all that often. More like miscommunications, tiffs or disagreements. Couples who are constantly having big discussions about small topics should probably evaluate what's going on beneath these fights. |
Even with the best of us, fighting can bring tears, threats and slamming doors. Fighting is exhausting and frustrating. Some people avoid it at all costs. But is fighting really bad for the relationship? Can it be good? Where's the line between a good fight and a bad fight? How do you handle fighting in your relationship? Does the make-up sex make it all worth it?