5. Life is hard. Let's face it: Life isn't easy. Separating would be hard, but so would staying together forever. To think we can make it through life and relationships without effort is naïve. So which challenge is the right one for me—rework this partnership into something more fulfilling, or separate and start anew? If I'm at all uncertain (which I am), a bold move would be foolish indeed. With all the challenges life throws at us—for me, an alcoholic brother and father with rapidly progressing Alzheimer's Disease come to mind—perhaps a supportive friend is more important than an intimate partner. Not sure I'd take that in the long term, but it's something to think about.
So I'm biding my time, and meanwhile being kind to myself and gentle with Rob. After I've put in a good-faith effort in couples therapy and saved a bit more of my own money, I'll reassess. If there's a chance at all that in the next year or so I'll be starting the long, painful process of extricating myself from a life lived together with Rob, I'd like to enjoy the calm before the storm.