The Suburban Swingers Club

By YourTango

The Suburban Swingers Club
A sneak peek behind the scenes, beyond the sex.

From round beds that people outside the window could rotate by pushing a button for an optimal view to a structured system that involved staffers scheduling rooms and changing sheets, I was surprised at how smoothly things operated. (From a business perspective, I was impressed.) Our guides also joked around as we walked into each empty room, trying to put the newbies at ease. When they suggested we head to the group room, I tried to feel gusty. Sneaking up on a group of people actually having sex? Peering in, I saw all the beds were empty at this point. Later, I was told, things would heat up. Couples of all ages and races gathered on the sofas near the "observation rooms" drinking and chatting. Many greeted each other warmly, like old home week. I was told about seventy percent of club members meet up on popular swingers' Web sites such as Club Voodoo.

Back upstairs, at first glance, the sprawling bar could have been a regular bar anywhere. The club's policy was BYOB, and the moment you walked in the bartender smoothly took your bottles, asked your membership number, and put them on ice. When people wanted a drink, all they had to do was give their number and one instantly appeared. Nice service, I thought. But looking a little more closely, I could see signs this was no ordinary bar. One woman who looked like she could have been a parent volunteer at my son's preschool suddenly thanked the female bartender with a passionate kiss instead of a dollar tip. A bartender took his shirt off and accepted five dollar bills down the front of his pants from virtual strangers.

 

I swear several nicely dressed women smiled right at me instead of at my husband. The same thing happened in the women's bathroom (which, by the way, could have been the washroom at Nordstrom's where moms say hello and commiserate with toddlers in tow). As I washed my hands, some women looked at me a little longer than, well, normal. I left pretty quickly.

By far, the most action occurred on the dance floor. The "blackout" was planned for midnight (glow sticks were distributed throughout the night), but I was assured security would be good and nobody would grope anyone without an ok. I would have liked to stay later to see if more action happened, but my husband was anxious to go. I should have taken a girlfriend!