Look Him Up or Leave it Alone?

By YourTango

Look Him Up or Leave it Alone?
Is finding your long-lost ex via the Internet a recipe for disaster?

In the ensuing years June got married and had a child, and moved to England. But she never completely forgot Gary. In 2001, her marriage ended and she went through a period of great upheaval as she planned to move back to the U.S. While chatting with a co-worker about her childhood memories of the States, she described Gary, the boy she once loved. Later that day, her curiosity aroused by the conversation, she poked around on classmates.com. She had to enter personal information, including her email address, but stopped short of completing the process when she was prompted for payment. "It scared me. I thought 'What am I doing?' and I shut the computer down."

Mere hours later—and thousands of miles away—Gary commenced his last-ditch effort to try to find June. Plagued by dreams of her and the idea they could have conceived a child together during their night together in California decades ago, he had been looking for her for years. He told himself this was his last try and then it would be time to forget her and move on. He went to classmates.com, plugged in her high school, graduation date, and name. Voilà—there was her email address.


"For the next six months, we wrote emails to each other almost daily," says Jane. "Slowly, slowly we opened up. We hoped there might be a chance to rekindle in person what was happening extremely well in cyberspace, but both realized that it could all become starkly apparent when we physically met, that this was just a fanciful dream."

The meeting would prove otherwise. The dream became reality, and they've been married six years. "He knows the real me," Jane explains, "the person I was before life piled on layers of living." Recently Jane found a pocket photo of her sister in high school, with her sister's scrawl on the back: "Don't forget to marry Gary." She hadn't. And if you ask her, it was meant to be.

All Well That End's Well?
Of course, seeking reconnection with someone from the past isn't always welcome by the other part, and doesn't always end so well. But you needn't crash and burn to find the closure you seek. April from Boston says, "I found my first girlfriend on the Internet, started emailing her then calling her, and realized she's still an asshole!" At least now she won't have to wonder.