We were trying to out-New York Post the New York Post with that headline. And we nailed it. Now we're just going to sit back and watch the checks roll in.
Fun story with minimal facts that you probably didn't miss. But according to the NY Post Madonna is categorically denying any shenanigans went down with the Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez. The Post says that the 2 share a passion for 3 things; their agent, Guy Oseary, pricey housing in Miami, and Kabbalah. A) What's it with Madonna and guys named Guy? We have never met a single guy named Guy and she's got 2 at her beck and call. If she ever visits Australia, Guy Pierce best keep his eyes peeled. B) Miami is nice. We'd consider wintering there if we could abide that brutal southern sun. And C) We have no idea what Kabbalah is. We feel like we know more about Scientology and possibly Santeria than Kabbalah. Does the string do something? Is it a reminder to be spiritual? Is the Golem somehow involved?
More from YourTango: How's Katy Perry Involved With R-Patz & K-Stew's Broken Romance?
We, honestly, believe that nothing goofy is going on between Alex Rodriguez and Madonna. It would be too weird. But her divorce rumors and that his friendship with Joslyn Morse (a boobalicious stripper type) last year make this seem plausible. Red Sox fans are going to have a field day with clever signs like: "Material Boy," "Rod Of Light," "Hey A-Rod, the Yanks are about to get Swept Away," and "A-Rod: stop being such a Dick, Tracy." Clever, lucky New Englanders.
A-Rod's bete noir, Jose Canseco, had this to say: "That's Alex. That's what he does. He goes after people's wives. I guess he's trying to follow in my footsteps now with Madonna."
More from YourTango: 10 Celebrity Moms Who Are The Breadwinners
The great thing about Canseco is that he abjectly hates Rodriguez but still says the guy is not on the juice. Anyone think anything salacious is going on between A-Rod and Mrs. Guy Ritchie?