Encore! Second Wedding Planning

By YourTango

Encore! Second Wedding Planning
How to say "I do," take two.

I think the biggest differences with an encore wedding—at least with ours—come before the ceremony. Because Nicole's family had already thrown her a shower, they weren't about to throw a second one. That's not uncommon, and wasn't a real issue for us, because my mom—who I'm pretty sure secretly wanted me to have a few sisters—didn't want to miss out on any of the festivities, nor did my cousin Ali (who has been asking to be in my wedding party since she was about ten years old), or some of Nicole's friends who didn't know her the first time she got married.

That's actually something pretty important to remember with encore weddings. Even if it's not the first ceremony for either party, it's probably the first time that some of their friends have seen them get married, so it's not wrong to treat it like it's the first time, complete with a shower (if only for the folks who didn't have the opportunity to go to the first one) and gift registries. Since Nicole and I were both out on our own—which is likely to be the case in most encore weddings—the items that we registered for were probably a little different than if we'd both been first timers, but, hey, I don't care how many times you've been married, everyone can always use more towels...

Very few of our decisions about the ceremony and the reception where influenced by the fact that Nicole had been previously married. The idea that a second-time bride can't wear white is outdated—these days, she can wear whatever she wants! As Rev. Graf says, "The etiquette of the 1970s is out the window." Some people will say that the bouquet and garter belt traditions don't belong at an encore wedding, but dumping those—along with the chicken dance—was in our earliest round of decisions, so it wasn't a factor.

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