No Uglies Dating Site Goes To Canada

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No Uglies Dating Site Goes To Canada
A dating site for beautiful people is moving to Canada.

A new concept is coming to Canada, exclusivity. The dating site allows in new members exclusively based on their looks. The judges and jury (and executioners) on that front are the site's existing members. Which sort of makes you wonder how they got started in the first place. The National Post reports that BeautifulPeople.net actually has introduced hundreds of people that went on to marry each other, so there is clearly some demand for this service.

Similar, Darwinian sites exist in the UK and USA, but this is a bad idea for the Canucks. They're just too nice for this sort of scrutiny. They've got universal health care, provide a lot of our oil, and still think we're cool. They idolize the US with our 1 semi-official language and our contempt for the metric system. In exchange for the souls of their best actors and comedians (like Mike Myers and Ryan Reynolds, or other alliterative stars) we promise not to export our fear mongering and weltschmerz. The only places that Canadians and Americans should interact (without international supervision) are NHL games and bachelor parties in Montreal lest they get ideas like "no uglies" dating sites.

Furthermore, concepts of Canadian and American beauty are totally different. The hockey cut (mullet) and Canadian tuxedo (all denim) are just not that popular in the US. And have you ever thought about why our nerds always have Canadian girlfriends? We know that superficiality and narcissism are mainstays of our pop culture but we could have spared Canada's feelings. For the first time in memory, we will not be singing South Park's 'Blame Canada' at the next Toronto Blue Jays game, eh.

Would you ever use a 'No Uglies' dating site?

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