Open To Something New?
Jenny Blocks answers the question "Where do you find people to seduce?"
For me, an open marriage has been about exploring what has seemed natural but was not "allowed" in a monogamous marriage,) not forcing something out of some sort of desperation. The people who would make good partners in an open relationship are the same people who might make good friends or lovers in a closed one, with one caveat – they necessarily don't have to "have it all."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't want kids and you've always imagined having a big family. It makes no difference if she wants to live in the country and you've always been the city type. And it won't be an issue if he's a homebody and you like to always be on the go. Mutual desire, attraction, and a clear understanding of the boundaries are all you need.
And perhaps that is the most satisfying element of all when it comes to open relationships – having the opportunity to experience people fully.
Discussion
Oh, but I understand the question: we're ready! now what?
I think one answer is to take up new social activities/hobbies, things you can do apart from each other (though if they bring you closer, then maybe you don't need to be open in practice, yeah?).
Try things like dance classes and social dancing (hello? Tango?), gym classes, running in the park, foreign language conversation groups... Anything, something. Try online social meetup-type sites. If it's your cup of tea, try onlune poly groups.
All this not so you can find people to sleep with, but so you can grow, and in the process develop new skills, meet new people, make new opportunities. Eventually you'll find someone.
(Hi Jenny, we met this weekend at one of your book readings. Thanks for publishing your book!)
