My (Bald, Parasitic) Ex Is Everywhere

Well, maybe this: my future ex must be at least seven feet tall, with long Pink hair, a handlebar moustache, a few facial tattoos, and hunchbacked. Additionally, he must dress exclusively in yellow, and must speak with an Icelandic accent.

Thus, when we two are no longer as one, he will, at least, stand out in a crowd. A crowd of Yakovs.

* You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
When I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up, and turned you around
Turned you into someone new
Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet
Success has been so easy for you
But don't forget its me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too

 

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Copyright © 2008 by Laurie Rosenwald. Laurie Rosenwald is the author of And to Name but Just a Few: Red, Yellow, Green, Blue (Blue Apple Books); New York Notebook (Chronicle Books); and the upcoming All The Wrong People Have Self-Esteem: An Inappropriate Book for Young Ladies* *or, frankly, anybody else (Bloomsbury USA).