MTV Co-Opts Bromance

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MTV Co-Opts Bromance
MTV and Brody Jenner conspire to ruin bromance as we know it.

Not sure if you heard but Brody Jenner (son of decathlete and Kardashian step-dad, Bruce Jenner) needs a new best bro and MTV is going to hook him up. They're auditioning dudes in LA by seeing who's willing to do the gnarliest stunts, who's the raddest wingman, and who tells the most Bro-dacious stories. That one guy earns the title of Bro-dy's best bro. It sounds like he's actually looking for a sidekick. We haven't seen anything from any alumni of The Hills or Laguna Beach that would suggest they are capable of anything as quid pro quo as a bromance. And we're only watching the show if they get Shaggy to retool "Mr Boombastic" to be about bromance for the theme song.

A bromance is not a senpai-kohai mentorship. It's not living by proxy, no give and all take. And it's not an unrequited man-crush like America has on Tom Brady. It's a 2-way street, it's Butch and Sundance, it's getting drunk and arguing over who’s going to be the head coach of their future kids' peewee football team and who has to be the defensive coordinator. And it's typically almost as homoerotic as Rocky and Apollo Creed hugging on the beach.

What's the genesis, though, of the bromance? Is it a function of men getting married later? Is the myth of male bonding involved? Is the modern bromance in any way related to the metrosexual movement? Zach Braff's JD from Scrubs personifies both trends. He's almost as metro as Beckham and as hopelessly bromantic as Seth and Evan from Superbad. Is the bromance responsible for the recent downturn in crime? Maybe we'll never know why mutual man-crushes are at their most prominent since Ancient Greece but it doesn't matter.

What does matter is that MTV is going to pervert the meaning of this beautiful man-on-man heterosexual appreciation by letting some dudes that probably think that video taping fire in the hole (throwing open drinks through a drive-thru window) gags and rickrolling (giving them a number that plays Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up") girls that are Pittsburgh hot are still funny. They (MTV) already pulled this crap with Punk'd. Can't they just call the show Brody Needs A Buddy or Buddies For Life and let this one go?