In the weeks that followed, greed and fear dominated my life. The market capitalization of my little turn-around project was over a billion dollars. I wanted to sell every last share of my stock immediately, but was restricted from doing so by the initial public offering "lock-up." Buyers of an IPO want reassurance that faint-hearted insiders aren't going to dump their shares and tank the stock. So insiders are forced to legally bind themselves to a six month waiting period as a precondition of any IPO. I still had several more months to wait until my remaining shares would not become freely tradable, which made me tremendously nervous. Many a hedge fund trader had made a killing by shorting a stock like ours. I was sure that our stock would take a massive hit the day it finally became liquid, it was just a matter of how massive.

On a cold winter morning, icy and raw, I got to work early to shut myself in my office to find out the fate of my stock. I wanted to face my destiny alone. I tried to tell myself that the money already in the bank was life-changing. As I sat and stared at my computer screen in silence, I resisted the temptation to call my broker and tell him to sell the whole damn lot. After an agonizing twenty minute delay, I saw first trade of the day clear. I couldn't believe my eyes. The volume was enormous, and the stock had traded up! Arms over head, I shouted with the animalistic sounds of redemption.

Over the next six months, I methodically sold everything, clearing over $30 million. I paid my ex-wife her third. The stock kept going. Better to be a little early to the exit than a little late, I told myself.

Wealth, of course, wasn't the answer. In the past, I'd tried to plaster over my problems with riches. The voices of doubt inside my head laughed at each of these futile attempts at a quick fix, grabbing me by the balls for a lesson in humility. It took staying sober, continuing to try to be a good father, and finding the right woman to make me happy.

I met Noelle when I was five and a half years sober. We were set up on a blind date by a mutual friend. I suggested lunch in a safe location, so either one of us could bolt. I waited for her outside at a nice cafe on a sunny spring day. She was well dressed, tall, blond, and gorgeous. Her warmth immediately set me at ease. She pulled on my sweater playfully as we left.

I was careful not to call right away. But I did eventually and she agreed to dinner. In the weeks that followed, I was careful not to call too often. We met once a week and continued to get to know each other. I began to see that, like me, Noelle came to our relationship after real-life challenges.

She had lost a husband less than two years into marriage. She was the first person in her large family to go to graduate school and had spent several years in court litigating cases. I was attracted to her street smarts as well as her huge heart. I could tell that along with her outer beauty, this woman had inner strength that I could count on, even with my most precious possessions: Grace and James.