As the days went by, being open only brought us closer and made our relationship hotter. We discussed details about outside partners and sexual situations and we imagined each other's faces as we talked. It was actually very intriguing and arousing; I doubt I have ever seen an adult film or read a novel that was a bigger turn on than this was. We would even offer each other suggestions and try new things then report back about how it went. We maintained control and intimacy in our own little way. I had never felt so desirable and accepted in my whole life.
A year into the open relationship (two and a half years after we started dating), a very unforeseen complication came along. I found out I was pregnant and it wasn't his. I liked the thought of having a baby but I took it harder than he did. He accepted the situation and when my child was born, he would love it like it was his own.
More from YourTango: When I Wouldn't Confront My Trust Issues, They Confronted Me
After this, I knew he was the perfect man for me. He accepted any and everything that came his way. He would stay with me no matter what. Still, we weren't willing or able to to each other. Five years later I got pregnant again, and things slowly began to change.
It occurred to us that we should explore options without a long distance connection. We stopped communicating as often and we began to unfurl. We didn't officially break up but but we both knew it had happened. He wasn't an easy man to get over. (I doubt I ever will completely get over it.) Now days, we are both in different relationships and our feelings have faded but we remain in contact as friends.
I learned so much with him. I am able to . I feel more confident about who I am and my sexuality. I did something that seemed forbidden but that felt right for me. I felt and did a lot more in those five years than many couples who have been together for fifty years. It was an experience I will never forget because it made me more complete.
More from YourTango: Skeletons In My Closet: Secrets Real Women Hide From Their Men
Open long distance relationships aren't for everyone, but I think all couples in this situation should explore their options. You might stay together, you might break up, but either way life will go on and you will have learned a lot along the way. After my relationship I look at things in a different light and I am grateful for what happened.