Who Says You Can't Buy Love?

Charles Haeberle, 39, moved to Maine from Key West, Fla. six years ago at the urging of his mother, who claimed it would be a good place to "find a nice girl."

Impatient as ever to find his soul mate, Haeberle recently gave fate a nudge via an ad placed in the local paper. If his love of dogs, kids and outdoor sports doesn't hook a lady, there's always the $5,000 he's offering to his future wife. Plus a four-carat engagement ring and a one-year anniversary gift, both of which he already owns.

While this strikes as mail-order-bride-ish or Craigslist creepy at first, the teetotaler and occasional churchgoer seems to be a good, old-fashioned romantic. Three years ago, he placed an anonymous poem to his future wife in the paper, a move he blames on too many viewings of the movie "Message In A Bottle." How he went from tossing bottled love poems into the sea (which he did) to offering up cash is where this tale gets a bit fishy.

We doubt Nicholas Sparks, master of sap, would melt into a romance-drenched puddle upon hearing of the incentive plan Haeberle has in place for his bride: $400 after the fourth successful date, $1,100 at the engagement and $3,500 at the wedding. No word on whether final payment is doled out before or after cutting the cake.

Dreamy, right?

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