This is one of those topics that comes down to 2 things for people; Security and Maturity. I've been with partners that have had fewer than 3 sexual relationships and partners that have had so many that they make me look like an alter boy. Consequently, this didn't mean that she with fewer partners was worse in bed, or that she with major double digit partners were any better in bed.
Security; How secure are you in yourself, in who you are? Do you need to place your worth, your happiness, in someone else's hands? If you are secure in yourself then you can recognize the reason(s) that your partner is with you and not be concerned with how many they have had. If your SO has been with 80 other people then I wouldn't begin with questioning if you are just one more notch on the bed post. I'd start with wondering why this person can't seem to stay in a relationship for any significant length of time. This isn't a negative statement, but it puts the onus on you to define what kind of relationship you want with this person and really look to see if you will get that. Thats all part of being a secure person...you accept responsibility for your involvement in the relationship.
Maturity; Can you really expect your partner hasn't been with a few other people before you, or can you SO really believe that they are your first? Grow up! Be happy that your SO has been with others. That means that they have an idea of what they want, what they like, and are more likely to stay involved in the relationship. It is extremely rare for anyone in the U.S. today to even hit their mid-twenties without have at least 10 partners. Because America's youth today isn't being taught EVERYTHING about sex, but just the bad side, I hear more and more "kids" replacing intimacy with sex, or simply using sex to keep the SO around. If you have a couple of sexual romps in your past, odds are your SO does as well. Be happy about it because it is those experiences that have shaped the person you are now with.
If you really can't handle knowing, don't ask. I don't ask because I don't care how many people she has slept with. I care to a degree how many relationships she has had and how those went as a barometer for how our relationship may pan out. If your partner can teach you a trick or 2 be happy about it...learning in the bedroom is a BLAST!!!! And if you can teach them a thing or to then revel in your sexual glory and enjoy your new disciple!
This issue falls under the catagory of 'don't ask a question you don't want to know the answer to'. My wife is VASTLY more experienced than me and I havent wanted to know who or how many (although I know a couple of her lovers). I have found that if I think about how many lovers she has actually had in her life I start to feel like I don't really matter. Like I am just the current placeholder. I know I once had a very unique place in her life and heart but things have happened and that is no longer the case. I greatly enjoy our intimacy but it's not the same as it once was (we've been together only four years). She says her feelings for me have changed and I dont know if that is due to her history or me or both. Actually . . . I don't like being friends with benefits which is what it seems to me what we have now.
She had two short bad marriages and then for years depended on a couple of buddies while she raised her kids. So it appears that her exsperiences lead more to the physical need and less intimate stuff. At least that is my take on it... For me the need was good but it disappears with more frequency because of the need for deeper intimacy. Oh, maybe i should say that i was married at 21 and for 23 years. We had a good sex life.
The experiences themselves matter... Especially when you get older. You are comfortable with what you learned and have the expectation of a familiar response. The last woman that i was with was a wonderful person, witty, kind, etc. but she expected sex to be hammering. All the foreplay was ok but she wanted it then! I was used to doing the build up and enjoy it that way. I saw that as a lack of responsiveness. She also was a lazy lover and didn't return the favor. That is fine for a one night stand or quicky. I laughted when she told me other women were faking it who made noise, or orgasmed other ways.
Single partner is my opinion. I dated my wife 4 years before marrying her and didn't have sex til our honeymoon. Oh and I was a virgin until my wedding night. And yes it was a long hard time to wait. As to experienced partners and all that, I have a woman that knows everything I want and like in bed and who is happy to try anything with me. It's also great to not have anyone else to compare her to. To my knowledge she is the best lay in the world and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I don't think numbers really matter. I wouldn't ask someone thier history before having sex with them. All that matters really in a sexual ordeal is if someone has an std, then as painful as it may be, they should tell the other person before sleeping with them, just out of respect.
if u really love someone "dont go there" cuz u dun wanna know trust me... here is the thing .. hot guys or hot girls will have a sex history that will shock u.... or just basically any attractive person will have a sex history... thats just how it is... so if u wanna be with them then dont ask...
I don't think 'experience' or history matters if you love someone. But it's generally nice to know their history, I think, but it's not something you'd ask someone you haven't known for a long time. I don't think people should wait until their married to have sex, not because of 'experience' or anything, but just because a guy - or girl, but I mean more that you'd get hurt or upset so thats not likely, lol - can turn out to be a total arsehole about it.
History sometimes matters. You wouldn't like to know that your significant other has been around the world and back but if that is the case and you love that person, does history really matter? I think the only thing that would matter at that point is what's in front of you.
I think,as long as you're practicing safer sex,its rude and immaterial to ask your partner's sexual history.I also think mens' double standards re "history" is, simply unacceptible.Why is a man a stud but a woman is a whore?I do not accept those attitudes.I'm all in favor of being experienced.And ladies....do you really want an inexperienced partner with no "skills"?THIS applies to both genders and all orientations.And virgins should NEVER marry!Learn the howtos before you're stuck!
Hmmm... I completely disagree with everything you just said lol.
Except for there should not be a double standard.. I agree. But most of the people I know who married when they were virgins.. about 90% of them stay faithful to each other and are not promiscuous in any way.
U must not know of many virgins I suppose lol.
it really depends on the interaction between the first date. if you have a connection and dont want to leave each other when ya first meet then have sex.... but to assume things will ONLY hold YOUrSELF BACK. To think the first date is to early is a perfect example of how your a cattle and only take sides of idea's that are already pushed into your brain. If you can honestly answer this question then you probly shouldnt be reproducin... its not a yes or no answer to a first date.... fing cattle
Good point. Just as you can't accurately generalize all women or all men- you really can't gauge how comfortable you will be after a first date. Thanks for your comments and be sure to check out our other videoss!
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of course i DO AM subscribed to your channel and i enjoy your videos!
but - nevertheless - i think i am not the only one to want longer videos.
because you definitely manage to keep your viewers' attention due to the interesting content of those videos!
so don't you worry borring "us" and post more & longer ones!!
:-)
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Heliotrope
